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  #351  
Old 07-31-2012, 03:50 AM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
You should read Redpepper's blog, or PM her about what she went through with her parents over the care of her son.

There is actually paperwork for godparents? And it matters? I always thought that was just a religious formality, and has no legal standing.
There is both. Religiously has no bearing. My best friend is the godfather of my kids. He has no desire to raise them in the event of my untimely demise. However, you can appoint a godparent that would raise your child instead of your next of kin.
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Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old
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  #352  
Old 08-01-2012, 12:00 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
There is actually paperwork for godparents? And it matters? I always thought that was just a religious formality, and has no legal standing.
There is both. Religiously has no bearing. My best friend is the godfather of my kids. He has no desire to raise them in the event of my untimely demise. However, you can appoint a godparent that would raise your child instead of your next of kin.
Okay, you're talking about two different things.

Traditionally, as I've always understood it, the duty of godparents is to instruct a child in its parents' religion. That doesn't necessarily mean they would be raising the child.

One can appoint anybody you want to raise a child instead of relatives. Choosing a godparent is just one of the options. Godparenting is still only a church thing, and has no legal standing, at least in the US. Not knowing where sparklepop lives, I was wondering if there is more legality to the role of godparent wherever she is.

Selecting someone who also happens to be the kid's godparent to actually legally raise it is a separate issue from someone just being in the role of godparent.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #353  
Old 11-21-2012, 06:37 PM
Stevenjaguar Stevenjaguar is offline
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Default Children and secondaries

Does anyone here have experience with secondaries, or the secondary of your primary, having children with one of the primaries in the relationship?

The subject has come up and I hadn't really thought of it in real terms, so I would appreciate any thoughts about this.
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  #354  
Old 11-22-2012, 03:18 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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yes.

My boyfriend and I are the biological parents of the youngest of 4 children in our poly family.

I don't prefer the term secondary-as he is a full-time member of our household and a full member of our family.

The youngest is 5. My oldest is 21. My husbands is 16. Our son is 12.

We're (obviously) poly and we're out-so all of the kids know and they all know whose bio-parents are who. But, they all call me mom and they all call Dh dad.
The baby calls bf by a special name, the other kids call him Uncle-because they did for years before we went poly.
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  #355  
Old 02-10-2013, 01:59 PM
twoplus1 twoplus1 is offline
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Default ivf

two men an me ivf is my only hope but anyone done it or know or heard of two different men being implanted at same time?
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  #356  
Old 02-10-2013, 09:33 PM
Pyuvii Pyuvii is offline
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I'm kinda hoping polyamory will be a solution to me wanting to have kids; Girlfriend doesn't want to have kids ever (and can't anyways), but I do want to have a husband one day as well as her, so maybe I can have kids with that fellow?

Then she won't have to be a mommy, and I get to be a mommy!
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  #357  
Old 02-10-2013, 11:58 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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two men an me ivf is my only hope but anyone done it or know or heard of two different men being implanted at same time?
You can only inject one spermatozoon into an egg, then the egg goes into lock-down mode. But you could put the eggs into a sea of sperm from both men and let them duke it out.

Is it your own inability to conceive that requires you to consider IVF? Or the desire to have both men as fathers to the child without really "knowing" which one is biological? You could accomplish that the old-fashioned way.

Have you considered adoption? Plenty of kids need good homes, and that would eliminate the possibility of any father ever laying more "claim" to the child than the other.
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  #358  
Old 02-10-2013, 11:59 PM
Pyuvii Pyuvii is offline
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My girlfriend says that she read somewhere that they can now make an egg cell out of a sperm cell and vise versa, so maybe you could take one, make it the egg, and fertilize it with the other?
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  #359  
Old 02-11-2013, 08:36 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
You can only inject one spermatozoon into an egg, then the egg goes into lock-down mode. But you could put the eggs into a sea of sperm from both men and let them duke it out.

Is it your own inability to conceive that requires you to consider IVF? Or the desire to have both men as fathers to the child without really "knowing" which one is biological? You could accomplish that the old-fashioned way.

Have you considered adoption? Plenty of kids need good homes, and that would eliminate the possibility of any father ever laying more "claim" to the child than the other.
I figured she meant IVF was the option for her fr fertility reasons (and because she wanted a biological child).

They usually implant more than one fertilized egg to increase the odds, so I don't see why they couldn't go half and half on who provided the sperms, provided they don't use an odd number or fertilized eggs.
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  #360  
Old 02-12-2013, 07:46 AM
twoplus1 twoplus1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
You can only inject one spermatozoon into an egg, then the egg goes into lock-down mode. But you could put the eggs into a sea of sperm from both men and let them duke it out.

Is it your own inability to conceive that requires you to consider IVF? Or the desire to have both men as fathers to the child without really "knowing" which one is biological? You could accomplish that the old-fashioned way.

Have you considered adoption? Plenty of kids need good homes, and that would eliminate the possibility of any father ever laying more "claim" to the child than the other.
No or maybe still capable of pregnancy at a far lower chance with age and would then require a reversal of tube clamping, however I know the procedures of the IVF sperm to egg. Rather I guess I should have been somewhat more clear in my query. It is we all desire children and I have had 3 grown as i started at 16 ended at 23. But we were more curious of ...Lets say I have the eggs knowingly fertilized by both men separately of course but say 4 implanted 2 of each mans ,as we will be going the way of the already checked for everything once sperm an egg take in laymans terms. Thus implanting choice as I have one adult special needs child I'd rather not tempt fate being older nor bring a child into this world under such cruel manners. For the record regardless of how far advanced we as human beings THINK we have evolved from prejudices having raised a child with a disadvantage is like waging war with the world still ... Also goes for race as well as it was no picnic for them canadian or not as here our racism and other prejudices are clandestine lest ur the one that is the target, u dont necessarily see or hear of things like racism or classism here!
That rant said I'd love the old fashion lets see who caught me way but it's extremely improbable a way thru a decision quick on ages heels lol! So hence the question anyone know can u ,as in I assume it being us paying its our decision but has anyone or do they know of anyone having gone and tried this way?
Yes we discussed surrogates but laws from US/UK/Canada all are little known to most ...Say birth mother is legally and always mother even tho' oddly there is not one drop of dna carried by that mother over to that child she gives birth to!!! Odd law right... so that is a big NOPE too! Adoption,hmmmmm thot of yep but they are younger want their own!!! Understandably so! However it's been thoroughly agreed upon if nothing comes of a treatment no more money shall be put out as my already children an hahahaha grand child are theres by proxy if u will lol! They aren't we puppies just not way over the 40 mark, me in 40's , so u can see time be of thee essence!! It was just an odd curious thot to A. saave money lol and B. hasen the pace but two separate invetroes isnt out and we have broached the question of whose is it? Well got it covered till I die no dna test so treated equally by both men. And just to tickle the mind here one is caucasian the other black and me I am mustee...bl/wh/native
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