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Old 01-31-2013, 07:36 PM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 306

Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
I agree that just because a person decides something is irrelevant, it does not have to mean that person feels "threatened" by it. However, since this thread is posted in a public forum that allows open discussion and debate, anyone may write their ideas and respond to anything even if it is not relevant to the real-life issue(s) as experienced by the OP. In a thread like this, no one person "owns" the conversation, not even the person who started it. The reason it's like that here is because other people reading or participating might benefit from the "superfluous" content.

If an individual desires more control over the flow or direction of conversation, or wants to limit the scope of discussion to certain areas, it's suggested that they start a thread in LIfe Stories and Blogs. The environment in that sub-forum is more about "support" rather than about criticism and debate.

I said nothing about wanting more control over the conversation. Discuss what you want. My point, that I was hoping to make, was that people here post asking for input. Many of us offer our input. Now what we offer may not be helpful to them, but might be for someone else. Threads often take on a life of their own and start side conversations and get off track. Maybe even having several different conversations within them. Now, me personally, I offer my POV and my beliefs and input and it doesn't fit. For example, oh I don't know, I offer that I believe there is nothing wrong with monogamy and it's a valid relationship model if done right, just like poly, that on a scale of 1 to 10, I'm indifferent on which model you choose as is right for you, and the reply is something along the lines of "No I don't believe in monogamy or marriage. I have issues with it. I believe every one is autonomous, I am a relationship anarchist and that just does NOT fit in with my view and will not ever be my view on my current or future relationships." Then I will stop suggesting it. I actually, gasp and awe, respect your decision to have the relationship model you want. I do NOT feel the need to hammer home my own views. In my personal opinion, and it's only my personal opinion, the person that decides s/he is having too much fun constantly pushing out there their views, whether they have anything to do with what is being discussed or not, is the one that has security issues.

If that person wants to keep posting fine, doesn't mean it's useful. Not to anyone but that person. There are people that only see their POV to the point where they are going to tell you it, even after hearing it's not useful.
Me: 40 pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 21 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +9 years/former
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