Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #1  
Old 01-29-2013, 12:08 AM
islandgy9 islandgy9 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 44
Default Double standard, revisited...

Does anybody else have difficulty with double standards?

Being the way I am...I don't understand why I have trouble feeling comfortable/totally accepting if my significant others are the same way I am...

I think I'm having hypothetical double standard issues.
Im trying to place myself in my significant others reference frame to imagine how I would feel if our situations were reversed. I know they may see and feel things differently than I do. But if I was in their shoes, not their heads, I would feel uneasy I think.
I don't understand why.

I'm trying to put myself in that perspective so when it happens, I'll be prepared and be able to rationalize things.
Im evolving, but I need to be cognizant to walk upright so my knuckles don't drag on the ground.... If I think about it and rationalize, primitive reactions can be held at bay.
I think it boils down to being perplexed as to understanding myself.
How I can care for more than one and have each one be so wonderfully meaningful and not take anything away from the others, yet question that same concept with these people I care so much about?

Being comfortable and feeling fulfilled myself, and really care and be committed to those relationships. I feel these relationships compliment each other and actually contribute to making their 'counterpart' relationships even stronger.
I feel cared for and wanted by each in their own way, and they don't take anything away from what the others offer,and I value each one.
I truly feel this, but I personally seem to be missing the part that can truly accept returning that logic.
Thus the double standard...Its not fair to the wonderful people in my life, and it really bothers me. I'm getting better, but any thoughts would be appreciated. I've talked about this before here,and through your help and Rubyslippers and Smowbunting's patient love, I've come a long way, but does anyone else feel Like this?

Me-51yr old somewhat bi male so incredibly fortunate to have wonderful people in my life:Ruby Slippers~My Rock. Snowbunting~ (f)several years younger but infinitely 'older' in wisdom & evolution and dear intimate close friend regardless of the miles between us. T(m)&J(f)~ married couple/playmates for 9 years who I see together & developing an (encouraged [by T] ) independent relationship with J.
Baby (bi f) ~way younger... co-worker, angel/devil, full of life & a bit reckless... All while being so very thoughtful and determinedly goal oriented. Admittedly there is some NRE going on here, and I'm enjoying every second....
Reply With Quote
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:17 AM.