Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

[Mya]

The latest I got: "This world is full of morons! Like me! Who call morons, morons!"

Okay..?

[Magdlyn]

Originally Posted by Petunia

Oh, he's talking cake. I couldn't resist drawing him out a bit more. Part two of his fetish is that he really, really desires that after stepping in cake that you wipe your feet off on his white carpet.

I was out to dinner with friends and I mentioned this. My best friend was like, "YES!" She'd love to walk in cake and squish it and then wipe her feet on his carpet.

I don't think this would be something I'd have a hard time doing and I think it may be fun; my worry would be that this would be such a consuming desire that it would eclipse everything else. I'd be like, "Cake, cake and more cake. Enough already!"

"You! Cake or death?

Ummm, cake please.

All right, give him cake!"

These men with this specific fetishes need to call a professional. Honestly, what woman here wants to go over to a guy's house, step on cake, and leave? I'd really like to know... if that would be an extremely satisfying "relationship" for you.

ROFL

[BreatheDeeply]

Reading through all these posts is like a tour through a dungeon! You don't want to live in one, but there's a perverse attraction to see what's around the next corner.

With some of the weirder ones (cake-feet-carpet guy for example), I'm really curious if he's normal in real life or if he's one of those people who's weirdness shines through into all parts of his life. Someone should study this!

[MeeraReed]

Here's an IM I got on OKC the other day:

"I don't know what I would say to you if I would message you."

I checked his profile. Low match percentage, nothing about open relationships (which is the main thing on my profile), not even any similar interests.

I replied politely to say that we had nothing in common so I was not interested.

His reply: "Wow. That's harsh."

I blocked him immediately.

18 months ago, when I first started using OKC, I was pretty clueless about online dating and the whole thing stressed me out majorly. I did end up meeting my lover-friend (seeing him non-monogamously for over a year now) there, but shortly thereafter I closed my profile because I could not handle it. Now I'm ready to try again. But I'm doing a few things differently.

1) Being very quick to block weird guys and delete not just icky messages but "iffy" messages too. Trusting my instincts more. Not worrying that I will hurt someone by being "harsh" in an OKC IM.

2) Not checking the "casual sex" box in "what I'm looking for." That was a tough one for me--I like friends with benefits and casual relationships, so it took me a while to figure out that "casual sex" on OKC seems to imply that you want to fuck creepy strangers. Ew. (I wouldn't have met my current awesome guy without that "casual sex" option, though, so we'll see.)

3) Using the poly label and being clearer about what non-monogamy means to me.

Anyway, we'll see how it goes.

[BrigidsDaughter]

First ever message from a female last night....

"Hi, I'm *****."

Nothing else, just a name. I checked her profile and we're a 10% match. Though reading her profile it was nice to see that her boyfriend didn't require her to share her girlfriends with him.

[oranges]

So, I googled this cake stepping thing today after I was venting to a friend about this guy... I found this site and this thread. (I don't believe I truly belong here... but... I wanted to share my experience with this guy because I'm pretty sure he's the same dude!)

"Hi, I like ur profile. wanna chat? Would u step barefoot on a cake"

He's contacted me twice... once about two years ago and then again recently. Last time after I drew out his cake issue, I just ignored him until he went away. This time, I stopped him dead in his tracks, and when I called him out, he denied it... said he asks about cake to see if a girl can just go with the flow and not worry about getting dirty. (WHA?!) Lieing is worrisome... he's a sneak. BLOCKED

[oranges]

Originally Posted by Petunia

Oh, he's talking cake. I couldn't resist drawing him out a bit more. Part two of his fetish is that he really, really desires that after stepping in cake that you wipe your feet off on his white carpet.

I was out to dinner with friends and I mentioned this. My best friend was like, "YES!" She'd love to walk in cake and squish it and then wipe her feet on his carpet.

I don't think this would be something I'd have a hard time doing and I think it may be fun; my worry would be that this would be such a consuming desire that it would eclipse everything else. I'd be like, "Cake, cake and more cake. Enough already!"

Hey Petunia, did you ever mention your friend said this to him by any chance, because he asked me if I'd ever do this... I'm not making this up... "She'd love to walk in cake and squish it and then wipe her feet on his carpet. "

[Magdlyn]

You know how some people say if someone isn't right for you, you should write back politely saying, thanks but no thanks? Here is why I don't usually bother.

Hello Ms Magdlyn

My partner Z & I really love your profile & pictures. We're very clean and open-minded. Would you consider meeting a couple? Z is an attractive red head.

We're very easy-going people. We love to cook, cuddle, tequila/wine, ethnic foods, go to drum circles, (I'm a drummer,) hiking, all types of music/music events, etc. We swing a bit and enjoy some kink too. We also love great conversation.

Love your eyes! and LOVE your spice rack!

Happy New Year!
X & Z

So, he's looked at my pix (references to eyes and spice rack) and maybe seen I am poly in my profile. I write back:

Hi X,

Thank you for your interest. However, I do not feel we are a good match. I am not a swinger, I am polyamorous. I am not interested in being a plaything for a couple.

Happy New Year to you as well.

Him:

We weren't looking for a play thing. We are a loving couple and are hoping to have someone in our lives together.

Refraining from puking, I again respond:

Are you new to polyamory? Perhaps you do not know that trying to find a woman who will be into both male and female of an established couple equally is so rare as to be nicknamed a unicorn? I have no idea if I'd be attracted to both of you equally. Would you really drive up here over 100 miles on the very slim chance I'd be into both of you?

Even when this kind of triad comes together, from what I have seen, it usually fizzles out once NRE fades and jealousy from one of the 3 rears its head.

him:

New? Why do you have such a shitty attitude?

FYI, we have met MANY sexy, younger women HERE. I love your age group, but maybe it's what is preventing you from being open and aware.

Unicorn is an OLD term dear. MANY, MANY women enjoy this and we do well w/meeting w/out jealousy.

sigh... Calls my attitude shitty, then goes on to confirm what I'd suggested, by telling me he's met "many" "sexy" "younger" women.

Then calls me close-minded and unaware. Then goes on to confirm my issues with him again!

[ThatGirlInGray]

To be fair, your first reply could be read as a little insulting. Instead of

I am not interested in being a plaything for a couple.

you could have just said, "Thank you for your interest. However, I am not interested in dating a couple, as I prefer to date individuals (or one-on-one, or however you want to say it). Happy New Year to you as well." You chose to include what could be read as a snarky, condescending little judgement, and got called on it. He wasn't rude until you decided to educate (i.e. lecture) him, which wasn't necessary. You could have just said a polite "No thank you" and left it at that, since he wasn't asking for your opinion of what he was looking for.

[Magdlyn]

Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray

To be fair, your first reply could be read as a little insulting... you could have just said, "Thank you for your interest. However, I am not interested in dating a couple..." You chose to include what could be read as a snarky, condescending little judgement, and got called on it. He wasn't rude until you decided to educate (i.e. lecture) him, which wasn't necessary. You could have just said a polite "No thank you" and left it at that, since he wasn't asking for your opinion of what he was looking for.

You know what? My bit of "snark:" "I am not a plaything," caused him to confess to what I suspected. He IS looking for a "sexy, non-jealous" person who will be one more of the "many" they have fucked.

I should meet a couple from 150 miles away because his wife is an "attractive red head?"

Not the way to my heart, or into my pants, TYVM.

However, an hour later he posted, "no harm meant/done. xo" Maybe he'll think twice about trolling so blatantly for a swinging unicorn in the future? Advice from this closed-minded old lady with her damn shitty attitude! LOL