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Old 01-02-2010, 09:01 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Location: Upstate New York, USA
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Default What Commitment means to me

Commitment for me is a commitment not to me as a person but to the relationship. It means not running at the first sign of trouble or of changing ones mind on a whim and just disappearing out of someone's life. It means feeling like I wish to encourage personal growth in those that I are in a relationship with (and it is up to the individual to define that, not me) and they with me.

When times are hard it means that there needs to be a certain "stickwithitness" - a willingness to stay with it and try to work things out.

If, as sometimes happens, it's not possible to do that, then everyone agreeing that it's just not working and agreeing to go our own ways is not showing a lack of commitment in any way, shape or form. I don't expect anyone to be with me if they don't choose to be.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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Old 01-02-2010, 10:07 PM
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Rarechild Rarechild is offline
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Location: SW Michigan
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Default Thanks for those stories

LR and Sweetie, I don't have kids and have always had an issue with trusting someone enough to have a child with them. Your stories make me think of the subject in a whole new light. Thanks
"Rocks will open and make a way for the lover."
~Hazrat Inayat Khan

I love Catfish and Charlie.
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Old 01-03-2010, 01:15 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Originally Posted by Rarechild View Post
LR and Sweetie, I don't have kids and have always had an issue with trusting someone enough to have a child with them. Your stories make me think of the subject in a whole new light. Thanks
Glad I could give someone "food for thought".

I can't imagine trying to raise kids without all the extra help that a poly family has! Even before we were "sexually poly" we functioned as a poly family. Having extra adults sure does make life run smoother!
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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Old 06-22-2010, 06:09 PM
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River River is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 2,910

So..., yesterday I'm hanging out with a friend, and we chatted a little about how difficult it is to meet other queer men where we live, especially the ones who are available for something more than casual sex with strangers. I told my friend that I have even stooped as low as trying Craigslist, which is more often than not used for sexual hook-ups, rather than potentially meeting a true intimate.... Well, anyway, at some point my friend says that "Maybe the sort of folks who would answer an ad like yours are the very same sort who will drop the ball and not call or phone as they say they intend to" .... "... you know, the lack of commitment". (He seemed to think that I wouldn't and couldn't be committed to a new amour because I already have a boyfriend.) He knew of my self-describing as poly, but he really doesn't understand what that is, what that means....

I tell this story in large part as a way of saying that polyamory is really not very well understood by most folks. Usually, a guy like me has to educate people in even the most basic of basics.
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