Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 01-25-2013, 08:18 PM
PhilosophicallyLost's Avatar
PhilosophicallyLost PhilosophicallyLost is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 48

Helo: I am struggling with feeling like my husband wants a lot of my time. It feels like he sees it as his right, whereas I see it as my gift to give. I understand I've pulled out the rug with the whole poly thing and he needs support and love, but he's given me crap for talking to a friend for an hour because it took time away from him. X_x; Which is taking it a bit far, in my book. Otherwise, I don't feel our marriage has too much of an "ownership" perspective. I see marriage as a partnership where both people get a say, and if that work monogamously for some I think it's okay. I don't like the ownership perspective either.

Point three: There's the saying, "Old loves never die." I feel this has been true to some extent in my life, too.

Marcus: I can see the ownership perspective in a poly setting as well. I see it a bit in my own life. I do think logically my voice of self-doubt does result from the social pressure more than anything.

GalaGirl: "It's easy to get sucked into the people pleaser/diplomat role as a hinge. Neglect your own needs for rest because hey! You are the "greedy" one wanting to be with 2 people right? You SHOULD be clocking double time, right?" I couldn't have phrased it better myself. Lol.

Unfortunately, E painted that model of himself at Y's gathering BEFORE the poly happened, and before he knew of my reciprocated feelings. That's why it seems stickier to me.

InfinitePossibility: I struggle with the concept of children because of this, but that's a whole other bag that I don't have to handle this second. But I haven't figured out if I want kids or not either.

Thanks to everyone who posted. It's given me some food for thought, and I always welcome more comments. Sometimes I just need someone to tell me it's okay. XD
Me: K, female, 27. Married to Y for over 4 yrs (male, monogamous, 33). Opened relationship to E (male, monogamous, 27) in a relationship vee.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 02:13 PM.