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  #71  
Old 01-25-2013, 08:12 AM
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BreatheDeeply BreatheDeeply is offline
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Originally Posted by TiMCbyats View Post

I think, that question shouldn't be "why "poly women" are bisexual ???", but "why "poly men" are mostly monosexual ???".

I want to emphasize, that I don't judge, that's just my 'feelings'.
Great question. I'm wondering how social pressure on males isn't seen by some as the dominant cause for this orientation? It's the single greatest difference between men and women when it comes to sexual persuasion (notice I did not say choice). Cynthia Nixon is spot on with her observation.

And many are missing the view of the forest because all the trees are in the way.

Men aren't allowed to be bi. It's still hotly debated weather or not they're even allowed to be homosexual. Women, on the other hand, are widely accepted as gay, bi, straight, you name it with at least one major part of society allowing each orientation.

For example: bi-women can be portrayed in mainstream porn in a way that is accepted for viewing by anyone who watches porn. Most men who watch porn are turned on by G2G sex as well as G2B sex (Girl Boy for the acronym impaired). Ask those same people if B2B sex is also a turn on in porn and you'll see a steep drop in numbers.

Another example. Gay male behavior is constantly stereotyped in the media. There is no Lesbian stereotype nearly as strong in popular culture. This makes them an easy target for those hate mongers out there seeking a target to vent their anger (usually in terms of pedophilia, think about the number of people who do not want their children to have Gay male teachers).

Even in this forum it is openly acceptable for people to say that the thought of B2B sex is a turn off for them. So far, I have not seen such a visceral reaction regarding G2G sex. And that's in this forum!

This is the 800 pound (364kg) gorilla in the room. And this is a conclusion driven by easy to spot social norms that have been around for a long time. Take them all away with a wave of a wand and I think there would be so much guy-on-guy sex happening that the oldest profession in the world would get a run for its money.

Men are completely fooled into believing they have no choice.
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  #72  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:33 PM
TiMCbyats TiMCbyats is offline
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Originally Posted by BreatheDeeply
I'm wondering how social pressure on males isn't seen by some as the dominant cause for this orientation?
In my opinion that's probably because all their lifes are conformistic. From my experience, there are some unpopular topics which I use as indicators of someone's way of thinking.

The really important question is 'Are there no positives in existence of social pressure?'.
For me there is at least one- It's really easy to see who's who. Conformists/ mass/ sheeple and thinking individuals are two different categories.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BreatheDeeply
Another example. Gay male behavior is constantly stereotyped in the media. There is no Lesbian stereotype nearly as strong in popular culture.
From my perspective there are two lesbian stereotypes. One of them is woman who rejects her feminity and the second- woman that looks lesbian, but is bisexual. Example- Is there exist any American movie in which there are two BEAUTIFUL, STRICTLY homosexual women?


By the way, does anybody was trying to find out what most homosexuals think about bi/pansexual men and polyamorists? LOL
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  #73  
Old 01-25-2013, 02:12 PM
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But maybe you have an idea in your head of what kind of lifestyle all gay men live... *shrug*
I've been pretty clear on what I meant by my statement. Sorry if it got your undies in a twist but that was not my intention. Let's just move on, no?
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  #74  
Old 01-25-2013, 02:21 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Excuse me, my lifestyle tells me that it's time to go shove one of my new butt-plugs up my ass.
ROFL. Good one.

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Originally Posted by BreatheDeeply View Post
This is the 800 pound (364kg) gorilla in the room. And this is a conclusion driven by easy to spot social norms that have been around for a long time. Take them all away with a wave of a wand and I think there would be so much guy-on-guy sex happening that the oldest profession in the world would get a run for its money.

Men are completely fooled into believing they have no choice.
First of all, thanks for the metric on the gorilla's weight.

Secondly, I blame the Bible. The small beleaguered tribe of Israelites needed to breed, and breed fast and large. Squished between the enormous powerful empires of Egypt and Babylon and Persia, all recommendations were to get the sperm into the multiple wives and make warriors quick quick quick! Men couldnt do this if they were busy with each other. Now, in Sparta, it was a different story, hehe.

In our present overpopulated environment, homosexuality is oh so slowly becoming a viable option. And I see churches all over, closed, shuttered and now for lease as apartment buildings. Even the lure of secretly supported gay sex is no longer drawing men to the Catholic priesthood.

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I've been pretty clear on what I meant by my statement. Sorry if it got your undies in a twist but that was not my intention. Let's just move on, no?
I am not wearing any undies, and your statement was not clear. But feel free to move on if you can not support your opinions more strongly. Cheers!
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  #75  
Old 01-25-2013, 02:36 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Well, since it came up in the conversation... not sure how it's relevant, but I find B2B a turn-on, and G2G a turn off.... as well as G2B, for the most part. I usually don't enjoy any porn that features females, which I always thought made sense since I'm not interested in females... but I seem to be the minority here.

It's less of an issue in written porn, though, as long as it doesn't spend time describing the female (I skip these parts anyways).

I usually prefer B alone, though. B2B a close second.

I personally don't see why it would be wrong that people be accepting of other people's tastes. I certainly wouldn't stop two women from having sex or a relationship, and the fact that I wouldn't enjoy watching it just means that I don't watch it. As far as I know, most of them wouldn't want me watching them either anyways.
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  #76  
Old 01-25-2013, 05:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Natja View Post
I always get annoyed by people saying someone wants or has a 'bisexual relationship'. You either have a hetero or a homo sexual relationship, if you are Poly you can have both types of relationships but you don't have a bisexual relationship, rather that is an orientation.
What if your partner is gender fluid, so that at times you have a girlfriend, and at other times that same person is your boyfriend. Then you could say, in general, that you have a bisexual relationship with that person...

Sorry, just being an ass. Fluidity of gender and sexual orientation came up in another thread and now it's stuck in my head.
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  #77  
Old 01-25-2013, 06:18 PM
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Originally Posted by TiMCbyats View Post
Personally, when I read something like "male, straight", I just puke, for me that's the end of conversation, even if it has never started. For me, people that belong to the 'norm' are just disgusting.

I want to emphasize, that I don't judge, that's just my 'feelings'.
"I want to puke" is a feeling. "This conversation is over" is a judgement (that they're not worth consideration). "Those people are disgusting" is so obviously a judgement that I shouldn't even have to explain it.

People are judgemental. It's a fact. Everyone has some kind of person that they judge against. Even "open-minded" people judge those who are closed-minded, ignorant, and refuse to be enlightened. I suppose there's some enlightened guru in India who is above all that, but he doesn't have a computer and he certainly doesn't post on forums.

Better, I say (this would be me judging), to accept your judgmentalism and be aware of it when you open your mouth, than to pretend you're not judgemental, and then make a judgemental comment and try to pretend it's not judgemental. That just makes me judge you as lacking self-awareness at best, an outright liar at worst.
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  #78  
Old 01-25-2013, 10:57 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Originally Posted by TiMCbyats View Post
Personally, when I read something like "male, straight", I just puke, for me that's the end of conversation, even if it has never started. For me, people that belong to the 'norm' are just disgusting.
Your reaction saddens me. If someone who´s male and straight [straight in its usual connotation - in discussions like this one - of heterosexual] "admits" to being male and straight, WHY should that disgust you? I´ve looked at your profile. According to that, you´re male. No more information, so I don´t know whether you´re

a) straight, but refuse to define yourself as "male, straight" because it´s the ACT of labelling oneself that disgusts you;

b) gay and are disgusted by straights;

c) bi and are disgusted by people who limit their sexuality to one sex;

d) either gay or bi and what disgusts you is that straight males are (generally) the people who call the shots in this society. (Though that is a VERY different thing from the "norm".)

"Norm": what is normal (average or the majority, depending on one´s definition). Since there are more female [humans] on this planet than male ones, surely "female" is more the norm than "male"?

Since I have no more information about you, let me make contradictory "suppositions" and see where each one leads us:

1) You´re human, male and a U.S. citizen. This puts you in THE most powerful, oppressive, destructive group of living beings on this planet. You make me puke. I refuse to continue conversing with you.

2) You´re human, male and - although not a U.S. citizen - you´re white. This puts you in a wider, less concentrated version of THE most powerful, oppressive, destructive group of living beings on this planet. You make me puke. I refuse to continue conversing with you.

3) You´re human, male and non-white. This puts you in THE most popülous group of human beings on this planet... bar the female non-whites. And males are generally more oppressive to females than vice versa. So YOU´RE the oppressive norm!!! You make me puke. I refuse to continue conversing with you.

4) You´re an incredibly intelligent non-human male animal, who´s mastered how to handle a computer AND express yourself [relatively] coherently. You non-human animals outnumber us humans by a factor of many millions. You´re the norm! You make me puke. I refuse to continue conversing with you.

5) You´re actually female and lied on your profile. You´re a LIAR!!! You make me puke. I refuse to continue conversing with you.

This forum, this web-site is about supporting other people who´ve made an often uncomfortable, difficult choice: to live a poly life; to include and cherish monos who are in love with polys; to offer information to "outsiders" who are curious... or nervous of "getting wet" in the poly pool. It distresses me to see blanket rejections of ANYONE because of their sex, their sexual orientation, or their sexual 3-D relationship-configurations.

I have a confession to make, but I first want to make clear that this confession is NOT why I replied as I have. It was NOT about defending people like myself. Exactly the opposite: it was about NOT attacking those who are different from ourselves. Having said that, here comes the confession:

I´m male [not by choice], I´m straight [not by choice], I´m white [not by choice]. OK, OK, I make you puke. I´ll just have to live with that. But I´ll tell you something, Mate: I´m one of the LEAST normal people that I know. Teenagers laugh at me on the streets, toddlers stare / gaze at me [I like to think that it´s because they´re amazed to see an unfamiliar adult male who´s so interested in them as human beings], 4-to-8-year-olds are sometimes wary to begin with then climb all over me, my friends rib me [affectionately, I HOPE!!!] Adult strangers who have never picked up a hitch-hiker in their lives tell me: "You´ve got an honest face, hop in!" and take me 100s of km on our common way... then THANK me for the experience of sharing each other´s company.

I might make some people just puke, that's the end of conversation, even if it has never started. I may be disgusting... but I am NOT "norm"!!!
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Last edited by MrFarFromRight; 01-26-2013 at 12:59 AM.
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  #79  
Old 01-26-2013, 12:24 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is online now
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Originally Posted by BreatheDeeply View Post
Even in this forum it is openly acceptable for people to say that the thought of B2B sex is a turn off for them. So far, I have not seen such a visceral reaction regarding G2G sex. And that's in this forum!
Since I am one of the (few) people on this forum that have said "that the thought of B2B sex is a turn off" for me, I feel compelled to respond. (I'll have to do some self-analysis to figure out why that is...)

From your post, you seem to be saying that because I have personal turn-ons/turn-offs that I am personally "not allowing" men to be bisexual? Everyone has their own turn-offs/turn-ons. If barefooted cake-stomping turns you on am I required to like it too? If "titty-fucking" turns me on are my gay male friends required be turned-on by this as well? Are we only allowed to talk about the turn-ons/turn-offs that YOU find acceptable? I am also turned off by "shit porn" and "anorexia porn" - am I allowed to say that by your rules? My lesbian friend likes B2B porn, but not B2G porn - is she allowed to say that? About 1/2 of my straight female friends are equally turned off by B2B AND G2G porn/sex - is THAT ok with you?

I don't see why my personal preferences - in terms of porn or sexual activities that I am willing to participate in/witness/think or fantasize about - matters to anyone but me and the people that I am involved with (who happen to be straight guys and bi-women). I don't think that B2B porn shouldn't exist, or that people shouldn't watch it, or that my preferences are somehow "better" than any others. But, why would I watch porn that turn's me off? To make random bisexual men that I don't know feel better? Should I watch "foot fetish" porn to make the "foot fetishists" feel better - even though it does nothing for me?

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  #80  
Old 01-26-2013, 02:41 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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From your post, you seem to be saying that because I have personal turn-ons/turn-offs that I am personally "not allowing" men to be bisexual?
I don't think that's what is going on JQ. These folks are responding to the following post by TiMCbyats

Quote:
Originally Posted by TiMCbyats View Post
Personally, when I read something like "male, straight", I just puke, for me that's the end of conversation, even if it has never started. For me, people that belong to the 'norm' are just disgusting.

I want to emphasize, that I don't judge, that's just my 'feelings'.
If not being "in to" watching a certain type of sexual interaction is wrong... sorry, that'd just a dumb thing to say. I don't interpret these posts as making that point. It's the strong visceral anti-expression wording that has rightfully caused some concern.
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