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Old 01-22-2013, 08:16 AM
Shinobi Shinobi is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3
Default Looking for a Boyfriend- Toronto

Hi guys! I'm a 27 yr old Bi guy, married to my wonderful wife. She is monogamous and not looking, so we're not looking to share someone between the two of us. I am, however, looking for a boyfriend. I tend to like to keep things on the simpler and less complex side, so I guess I'm looking to find someone who's single and okay with my being married, or already has a primary in place and is looking for just one more partner.

I have tried configurations in the past where my partner had two other guys besides me and was looking to add more, and I found that the situation was too complex emotionally and stressful for me to handle well. I am looking for something simpler, as I think I've gotten a better grasp at what I can handle within Poly. I suppose what I'm looking for is more closed polyfidelity with me and my wife and another guy than say open polyamory.

About me: I am disabled, with a very mild case of cerebral palsy. I am not wheelchair bound, I walk just fine (if a bit funny). I work as a subway musician busking in the TTC subway stations. My main passion is music, and I love playing slide guitar and piano. I really love blues music, classic rock and heavy metal. My top five bands would probably have to be Pink Floyd, Deep Purple, Clutch, Rush and Iron Maiden.

I am a huge geek. I love watching sci-fi/fantasy movies and tv shows like Dr. Who, Lost, Star Trek (DS9 and TNG) and Babylon 5. I love all the Lord of the Rings films and the new Hobbit movie, and enjoy watching anime like Akira and Cowboy Bebop. My favourite authors I like to read are Tolkien (who I have a whole shelf dedicated to), Robert Jordan, Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett. I enjoy going to anime and sci fi conventions in my spare time as well.

Academically I've been studying Biblical Studies for the apst 9 years and York University, and hope to one day get my doctorate in the stuff. I love read, writing and speaking Latin, as well as learning German. Next year I plan on tackling Ancient Greek.

In my spare time I like to write songs, write novels and short stories and train in the art of Ninjutsu and Budo (Samurai Arts). I love learning the Ninja Arts and find it an absolute blast.

All of this may sound larger than life (I've been told I'm somewhat the equivalent of an anime or comic book character, being a Ninja-Scholar-Latin Speaking-Bluesman), but I assure you all of it is true! I'm just looking for a guy who is kind, considerate and caring and will accept me for me, married man and all. I am hoping that if I find the right guy, they will eventually become my second Primary, along with my wife.

If any of what I've said has interested you, please, feel free to PM me
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Old 01-23-2013, 03:00 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,900

This is a very nicely written posting - I hope you find what you are looking for.

I understand where you are coming from in terms of desiring "simpler" configurations. Poly is complex and each person adds another level of complexity. I think that if/when my boys decide to "branch out" then looking for poly women with established primaries or an experienced solo poly woman is the road I would encourage. (Turning our V into an N or a W) If the solo/single poly wanted to pursue another relationship as well I think that would work as well, once the "new" relationship was well-established. I recently read an article about spacing out "new additions" to give time for existing relationships to stabilize before rocking the boat again.

That being said, we meet people, connect or not and life rarely goes as "planned". For instance, I always assumed that, as a poly bi female, I would eventually end up with "one of each" - a husband and a wife if you will. Yet, here I am with my two boys and deliriously happy. Who knew?

You have a multitude of interests - which could give you the opportunity to meet lots and lots of interesting people and develop friendships. From there, who knows, a friendship could certainly "spark" into something else if you are open to it...

Good Luck.

JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, ex-FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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