Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-17-2013, 08:32 AM
hyena's Avatar
hyena hyena is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: ky.
Posts: 20

Tons have people have commented about how your husband may not know he is doing something that is hard for you. I think that's a fair assessment. And if so, why not just ask him about it?

If you said he could be friends with this person, he really may think he is just being friends. And, of course, there could always be something nefarious, but staying silent about is certainly no help. Is there a reason you think his emailing is a secret (instead of just something he never had the chance to tell you)? And if he has a hard time being straightforward, is it helping to let that fester? Either way, you don't know what's up until you've asked. I know that I've had times where I've done something out of my comfort zone, such as talk to a person who is for some reason threatening to my partner even when I've had explicit permission, and I've specifically made an effort to not bring it up without reason. Been honest and forthcoming, sure, but not brought it up without reason. Transparency is wonderful, honesty is ultimate, but sometimes mentioning something like talking to a friend without a social prompt or basis can seem more incriminating or threatening than not. Just ask!
Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2013, 06:51 PM
Marcus's Avatar
Marcus Marcus is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by MissScarlett View Post
Do I wait until he actually sees her behind my back, if he does? I don't get why is is hiding this, he doesn't even have to.
The assumption in the first question would seem to hint toward the answer to your second question.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
Reply With Quote

fluid bonding, safer sex

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 07:46 PM.