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Old 01-18-2013, 03:15 PM
UpsideDown's Avatar
UpsideDown UpsideDown is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 61
Default Good Faith, Bad Faith

So, when this whole issue came up, my husband joined the forum, just to have someone to talk to about the whole thing. After a little pushing, I joined as well, and in order to keep our profiles and perspectives separate, we agreed to stay out of one another's posts and threads. We could and would read them, if we felt like it (except under specific sets of of circumstances), but didn't comment, because his issues and questions for this group are not my issues and questions for this group.

As with many people in the early stages of this, I've been feeling hurt/confused/alone and have tried to explain the situation I'm in to the best of my ability. I don't always know the right terms, or correct phrasings for this community, but I've done my best to show good faith in being willing to learn about this by coming here, reading, going to local workshops, etc.

In an astounding show of bad faith, however, someone in my real world has come here, searched both me and my husband out, read our upset and sometimes lost posts that are not always perfect in their vocabulary, and then this information has become somewhat public knowledge. The reason all my doubts, fear, anger, insecurity were being parsed here was because I wanted to understand them better and be able to present a more emotionally-functional person (in this realm) to the person I care about do much, as I gained the knowledge. I'm not exactly sure whose idea it was, but considering it goes hand in hand with sharing some of the most open and vulnerable emails I've ever sent with a third party (who does not know or like me) after I have repeatedly said that I do not appreciate my personal information being over-shared, I find this a breach that may be irreparable.

As an aside to the mods...should you perhaps consider offering the option of allowing users to delete their own threads?
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29, married to DH, the best guy in the world. 2 kids, dog, house with fence.
Developed a fast and accidental crush on then-best-friend, CG (cute-girl) and world fell apart after telling said girl. Came here for advice and info in case it became a thing. It didn't, but the friendship exploded. Turned world a bit upside-down, hence the moniker. ::sigh::
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