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  #31  
Old 01-14-2013, 10:56 AM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
‎"two couples in ireland decided to swap partners. In the morning paddy asked murphy 'I wonder how the girls got on'" (why ireland? I mean really....)
Hi RP! I've never lived in Canada, so I don't know if you have there the same "haha, the Irish: how ridiculous! How stupid!" culture that is a plague in the UK.

To be boring and go into the subject a bit deeper:
a) I believe that the REASON that the Irish were [still are by all too many] considered stupid by the British was because of naivité: Many RURAL Irish emigrated to CITIES in Britain looking for work. Because they didn't know how the Underground worked or even flush toilets, they were considered "thick" when it was merely a case of things that they'd never experienced.

b1) The Irish are among the nicest people on Earth. [Some people reason that the British are cold because they live in a cold climate. The Irish climate is just as cold (and even rainier!) but the Irish are (generally) warm-hearted and generous/open with strangers.] This - and their naivité - made it easy for the British to cheat them. Arseholes who cheat others think that they are oh-so-clever and that their victims are oh-so-thick.

b2) The Irish are among the nicest people on Earth, warm-hearted and generous/open with strangers. This - and their naivité - made it easy for the British to constantly make fun of them without getting a fist in their faces.

But I'll give you an exception to the rule by telling my favourite "Irish joke" (TOLD by the Irish, for a change):
Q: Why are Irish jokes so stupid?
A: If they weren't, the Brits wouldn't understand them.

[Dexys Midnight Runners made a nice comment on the supposed stupidity of the Irish. Listen to it here... And they left out James Joyce and the greatest Irish literary genius of them all, Flann O'Brien.]

And back to your joke in particular. I don't know if this has any bearing at all, but [quoting from Wikipedia]
Quote:
Today, Ireland is increasingly liberal on lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) issues. Both male and female same-sex sexual activity are legal in the state. Government recognition of LGBT rights in Ireland has expanded greatly over the past two decades. Homosexuality was decriminalised in 1993, and most forms of discrimination based on sexual orientation is now outlawed. Ireland also forbids incitement to hatred based on sexual orientation.

A 2012 survey showed that 73% of Irish people agreed that "same sex marriage should be allowed in the Constitution".[1][2] Earlier, a 2008 survey showed that 84% of Irish people support civil marriage or civil partnerships for same-sex couples, with 58% supporting full marriage rights in registry offices
Did you get that? From TOTAL illegality prior to 1993 to that level of acceptance in just 20 years!!! Whereas in the UK,
Quote:
In 2001, the age of consent was equalised to 16 under the Sexual Offences (Amendment) Act 2000, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
Before that, the age of consent for straight women was 16, for homosexual men 21 [this after the 1967 Sexual Offences Act partially legalising homosexuality: it had to be consensual (fair enough), both partners had to be over 21, and it had to be in private (meaning - among other things - no more than 2 at a time) ... and this act only applied to England and Wales: male homosexuality continued to be illegal in Scotland until 1981 and in Northern Ireland until 1982], and a legal loophole existed that - because women weren't even interested in sex so would only get it on because a man was interested in them - lesbianism wasn't illegal at all... because it didn't exist! So there was no age of consent for lesbians.

So... there are 3 possibilities:
1) This joke dates from before 1993, when the British considered the Irish "backward" and "ridiculous" for still not having legalised homosexuality!!
2) It dates from between 1993 and 2000, when the Irish were "quaint", "funny", and "queer" for being even more liberal than the British!!
3) "The Irish are so thick that they don't realise that when you say 'partner swapping', you're supposed to swap the little woman for another little woman!"!

Ah, me! Those Irish! Always good for a laugh!

p.s. Please don't think that I've got it in for the British. "Some of my best friends are Brits." (Remind you of anything?) I've just got it in for louts who make fun of the Irish... or anybody else because of their cultural differences.
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If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson

Last edited by MrFarFromRight; 01-14-2013 at 04:53 PM. Reason: typo; added Dexys comment + links
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  #32  
Old 01-14-2013, 11:22 AM
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fleurisseur fleurisseur is offline
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Default why "poly women" are bisexual ???

Hello
I dont know exactly "why"
but I confirm : in our polyfamily all women are bisexual, since day one.

And it seems that this is "plain normal" for them, since ever.
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  #33  
Old 01-14-2013, 11:40 AM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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I'm going to invite some of you to pour scorn on my head by disagreeing with
Quote:
And of course, no choice involved!
Given that I've never had a [willing] homosexual experience (mild starts that didn't arouse me so never led to "real" sex), I'm talking completely through my arse here, but many of you are used to that from me, so [clueless theorising]...

a) It partly depends on the definition of "sexuality". Is it your basic wiring or is it what you put into practice? Because ALL of us know that the latter IS a matter of choice.

b) Although I've never had a [satisfying, arousing] homosexual relationship, I have found some men (not many) very attractive. Through shyness or a calm deliberation that the other wouldn't be AT ALL interested, I've never made a move. The men who have made moves on me... I didn't get turned on by (although one of them was my best friend, I didn't find him sexy... AND he was hitting on me mostly because he was missing his NRE girlfriend). I consider myself straight... but open to possibilities.

c) I consider bisexuality as a sliding scale from 100% straight to 100% homosexual with all the combinations in between.

d) THIS is where I get the scorn. I think you CAN decide to change your sexuality. And I mean what you prefer, not just what you act on. A parallel: I used to be jealous. I went through a process of
1) believing that jealousy was a proof of "real" love >
2) intellectualising that it wasn't doing me any good, was only causing me pain, but still I FELT it >
3) inviting/provoking situations that made me jealous as a "therapy" to have to deal with it, despite the hurt >
4) beginning to FEEL less (NOT no) jealousy >
5) honestly believing myself (and really feeling better with being) less and less jealous >
6) I can't say that I'm 100% free of jealousy, but maybe in the high 90s... and HAPPY about that.
7) determined to work on that bit that remains.

So if I can change my feeling about being in a relationship from valuing jealousy to despising it, shouldn't it be possible for me to overcome culture-enhanced FEELINGS of discomfort with homosexuality to becoming a real enthusiast? i.e. Can what you put into practice actually change your wiring? I THINK so.

I haven't got the answer, just an opinion and a few points for further debate.
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If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson

Last edited by MrFarFromRight; 01-14-2013 at 11:49 AM.
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  #34  
Old 01-14-2013, 12:15 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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(FINALLY!) I'm going to get closer to the main point of this thread.

No absolutes, but I do believe that GENERALLY women are more open to adapting. I don't know whether this is due to their wiring; the fact that [and I'm speaking about women here culturally/historically not as a macho stereotypist (in fact, I'm my favourite childminder)] dealing with children constantly, if you can't adapt... you're FINISHED!; or the fact that - as freeantigone has already pointed out - women are more often FORCED to adapt.

Maybe (generalising again), men have been so programmed to winning, to being alpha, that they [we] are more likely to feel that adapting / being flexible is a sign of weakness and therefore of a loser.
Ironic that (culturally/generally) by being so set on not being losers... we lose so much.

I also think [WARNING: approaching cliché!!!] that women are (generally) more open to love, more interested in making relationships work, more willing to DO THE WORK necessary to making relationships work.

Tragically, a male homosexual is STILL considered by a huge chunk of society to be less of a man. And - too often - many gays encourage this prejudice by exaggerating EITHER their femmeness or their butchness until it appears a party piece, a bit of melodramatics, a farce.

So - not going on personal observation, but it seems believable - a woman who has fought her way over the barrier against polyamory is capable of fighting her way over the barrier of set-in-concrete sexual orientation. Also, a person curious enough to want to EXPERIMENT with polyamory is maybe curious enough to experiment with bisexuality. And "you won't know whether you like it if you don't try it".
__________________
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson

Last edited by MrFarFromRight; 01-14-2013 at 03:04 PM. Reason: clarifying confused sentence structures
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  #35  
Old 01-14-2013, 03:56 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
‎Also a link to a screen play on the same topic.

http://www.scotto.org/listing.php?id=561

OMG, Pepper, thanks so much for that link! I've just signed up.

My 2nd favourite line:
"GREG: Carla, I'd like to congratulate you on the awkward silence you've created."

My favourite line:
"LACY: Of course I'd be jealous, but presumably I would also be distracted."



Did you GO to the 14/48 festival? Throw my 90+% non-jealous comment [above] OUT THE WINDOW!!!
__________________
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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  #36  
Old 01-14-2013, 08:52 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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I think it's just because women are so awesome. Why wouldn't everyone want them?

Boobies!
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  #37  
Old 01-14-2013, 08:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleurisseur View Post
it is interesting to notice that almost all women here, real "polys" or "thinking about it" are bisexual.
I haven't done a poll, but there are many heterosexual and homosexual women on this forum. Certainly enough to negate "almost all."
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  #38  
Old 01-15-2013, 12:26 PM
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BreatheDeeply BreatheDeeply is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleurisseur View Post

So, back to the point, the woman may easier be BISEXUAL, because she may adapt herself faster/better than a man...

Furthermore (no insult, no offense, it is just something I noticed), bisexual women are "more clever" and "more generous", and have a faster brain.
So human female bisexuals:
...adapt faster...more clever....more generous?

Right. well far be it from me to question that, but maybe there's an alternate explanation for men's behaviors, maybe.....

Men are conforming to a model of strict social/sexual behaviour if we want to be sexually accepted by most other men and most women! That's shown a bit in this forum from time to time with women, just being honest, who do not find the thought of a guy sucking a dick very masculine.

It could be just that simple. Maybe the more interesting question (to me, and I am trying to be humble, but this topic does cause me to question things), would be to find out the whys behind societies preferences for how a sexual man should act.

.
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  #39  
Old 01-15-2013, 01:16 PM
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fleurisseur fleurisseur is offline
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Default why "poly women" are bisexual ???

Hello

in our polyfamily, women are bisexual
and in a perfect harmony.
They INSTALL harmony.

The other ones, I dont know
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  #40  
Old 01-15-2013, 05:19 PM
Hannahfluke Hannahfluke is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleurisseur View Post
Hello

in our polyfamily, women are bisexual
and in a perfect harmony.
They INSTALL harmony.

The other ones, I dont know
I don't understand what you mean by install harmony.

And even though the women in your poly family are bisexual, it doesn't mean that all or even most poly women are bisexual. And to state that bisexual women are smarter and more creative is insulting to those of us that aren't bisexual.
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