Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #41  
Old 12-29-2009, 08:38 PM
lipsnlace's Avatar
lipsnlace lipsnlace is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 43
Default

What a sweet gift! That J- sounds like a keeper. I'm glad that he's opening up about it. It's difficult at first to keep everyone from feeling self-conscious. It's worth it though!

I'm happy for you!
__________________
--Lipsnlace

Don't try to tell me who you are; tell me who you love.

The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change. So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding and love.
-- Jennifer Edwards
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 12-30-2009, 02:08 PM
ramfish's Avatar
ramfish ramfish is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 47
Default

J- came over yesterday after work, which meant he came over at 6am. =p He slept here as best as he could (our cats refused to let us sleep). I thought we had a pretty good day, though it did seem a little short because he had to leave by 5 and we slept until 11. I was unreasonably crabby at the end of the day because I knew he had to leave and I didn't want him to go.

He started lecturing me saying 'you've been acting all depressed for the last hour or so and I won't let you now stop it.' >.> When HP came home he and J- both made fun of me for my pouty behavior. It admit, it was pretty childish; and toward the end there I think I was more mad at myself for being pouty he had to go than at him for having to go. (I hope that makes sense...)

J- has a completely different take on things than HP, which HP and I talked about yesterday. This all sounds really terrible when I say it out loud, but I would like to reflect on it. Hopefully it doesn't make me or HP sound too bad. Basically HP lets me get away with a lot. By get away with I mean he really isn't very good at telling me no, which I've gotten used to over the years. It's bad, and kinda both of our faults. I blame myself for not having the discipline to not tell myself no...

By 'no' I mean for mostly little things. Like...I want to go out to dinner, and HP says no we can't or no I don't want to...but it doesn't last very long and soon he's finding a way to say yes. It's kinda hard to explain really...since it's so ingrained into our relationship that I hardly notice when it's happening, but I know that it does. The dichotomy is apparent, however, when I run into situations like that with J- and he puts his foot down and tells me no. It almost makes me do a double take. Like...wait...what? I don't get what I want? This never happens.

And as much as I pout, or cry, or feel hurt when he does it...I know something else. It's really good for me. I need something like this, so even if I fight it, I'm glad J- is that way with me.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 01-01-2010, 07:54 AM
HPLoveshaft's Avatar
HPLoveshaft HPLoveshaft is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Posts: 2
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by HPLoveshaft View Post
Hey. I'm a write some stuff here on Sunday. Meanwhile, work.

EDIT: Didn't get home until late Sunday, had a double date with my secondary and the wife and her J-Kun, it was a total blast. Have to go to bed early tonight so I'm not exhausted again tomorrow, I get up at 4a to be to work at 6a. Will try to write something more before Christmas, no promises.
Finally have some time to sit down and write. Basically a few weekends ago Ram and I went on a double-date with our respective secondaries. It was totally awesome. We went to see Avatar in 3D and then went to dinner and then hot tubbing. It was really cool, I hope we get a chance to do it again sometime. I probably had more I wanted to write originally but as I write this after a New Years party and hours of driving I'm not firing on all cylinders.

Peace.
__________________
You can't control who you fall in love with. That's why they call it falling.
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 01-01-2010, 09:01 AM
lipsnlace's Avatar
lipsnlace lipsnlace is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 43
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HPLoveshaft View Post
Finally have some time to sit down and write. Basically a few weekends ago Ram and I went on a double-date with our respective secondaries. It was totally awesome. We went to see Avatar in 3D and then went to dinner and then hot tubbing. It was really cool, I hope we get a chance to do it again sometime. I probably had more I wanted to write originally but as I write this after a New Years party and hours of driving I'm not firing on all cylinders.

Peace.
You could probably start your own blog if you want to share your story with us, too.
__________________
--Lipsnlace

Don't try to tell me who you are; tell me who you love.

The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change. So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding and love.
-- Jennifer Edwards
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 01-13-2010, 05:05 AM
ramfish's Avatar
ramfish ramfish is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 47
Default

*sigh* It's been two weeks since I've really seen J- ... it's kinda sucked. My personal issues with insecurity have had me worried about feeling detached. This always happens when I don't people I really care about very much. I get very apprehensive, especially with people I don't know really well. Course it hits me really hard when it comes to him, but I do end up feeling the same way about other people I've met only recently. When I haven't seen them in a while I start to wonder if the relationship is the way I really think it is. I wonder if my friends really like me or if they're just putting up with me. Like maybe they're too nice to just tell me to fuck off. >.>

It's something I deal with every day, some days more than others. It becomes especially a problem with I'm stressed out, and I'm defiantly stressing out recently. The semester just started so I'm busy getting started with classes and getting ready to study abroad, get scholarships, looking for a new job... Also the husband lost his job >.> I was kinda trying to go with the flow today...but it finally hit me and I broke down for a little while.

Ah the joys of stress and depression.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
dating, fear, marriage, nre, vee

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:02 AM.