Working through it.
Talked a bit more with Airyn yesterday.
I asked him before leaving for work if he and I were still going to have our room to ourselves when I get home. He didn't remember that part of our conversation on Monday. Very Disappointing. Talked to him via Gmail Chat at work, and he said he'd just move and we could have the Living room futon. Said it's his fault for not remembering or talking to Chipmunk about it before hand. I was angry with him over his forgetting these things, and told him that it's as if the things we talk about are easily forgotten and not important to him. He responded that "It's not like that" then went to sleep for the night.
So Wednesday day he wakes up just after noon since he was up really late. We make coffee, and talk about what he and I are going to do for the day. It is too wet and rainy out to go for the walk we had originally talked about, so we decide to go do some of the household shopping, with a fun stop at Michael's for knitting and jewelry making supplies/ideas, and end the trip at our favorite books store/coffee shop. We were out about 3 hours, talked about a lot of random non relationship things. Music, web articles, Siri, and other non critical, or stressful topics. It was a nice outing, and included a good bit of kissing on the aisles of the book store.
Back at the house, Airyn and I head out to pick our kid up from school. Airyn asks me what my question were surrounding the 13th. So I asked what he was expecting, and how he might handle the different possibilities. I also asked how hard of a time limit it is, is it something they may move back a week or two if a decision isn't made. Some options he knows exactly how it will go, and others he's less sure on. He feels she will chose to stay with him, and was pretty sure that a decision would be made on time.
Airyn takes Chipmunk to work, and comes home and sits with me so we can chat some more. I had asked him to lay down and snuggle with me when he got back. We looked over his schedule for how he's splitting his time, and made a few adjustments. He's more aware of how little time he and I have had for ourselves, and is coming up with idea to increase our over all time together. This doesn't reduce the time he is able to spend with Chipmunk, it reduce the amount of time we all spend together as a group. Airyn tells me that Chipmunk has been a bit weird about her relationship with him. That that is part of why they have a date set. He tells me that a while back ago he told her that the "NEW" had worn off, and she agreed. They talked about how that might change their relationship, and how they react to each there. These conversation are where Chipmunk's interest in see other guys came up.
He and I talked about what might happen. I asked him what would happen if she chose to be free to see other people. He says that their relationship would end. I told him that I know this, I was meaning as far as our place is concerned. That from Chipmunk's point of view is she expecting to get booted out if things end, or does she realize that she'd be permanently moved to the living room. I told him that this option would be very awkward. He says it could be less awkward. I said not for Chipmunk. See him every day and seeing his relationship continue with me, and her not having a relationship like that any longer. That would be very awkward for her should she choose to end their relationship. I told him that she may choose to stay till she can get a place of her own, and then decide to end thing. He says that he doesn't feel they are together just out of her convenience. I told him I now that, but if she is really thinking about this whole thing that maybe one concern she has.
We moved back to talking about his schedule and working out things between us. He says he really wants to get back to where we were, and that increasing the time he and I have together is helping. That he can see improvements. I told him that some days I feel that things are moving in the right direction, and then something will come up and I'll feel that very little has changed. Airyn says, "I know you are very wishy washy right now." So I talk to him more about what I miss in our relationship, and tell him he may not like to hear it, but I'd be fine with a NSBF. Well that kinda derailed the conversation, but not in a bad way or even in arguing. i told him I had been thinking about it, and what I'd want if I were to pursue something like that. I told him that I don't see it as something that would or could last long for me. That I'd prefer a married man with a healthy active sex life at home so that he'd not be looking to me to fill this need/want. Airyn points out that there is always a desire for the new, to which I agree. I tell him it's still a pleasant thought. Then I tell him that what I miss with him I could get with a NSBF, but that it wouldn't be a good thing in the end.
I elaborate, and tell him that he used to touch me more often, during the day around the house. That I miss feeling his hands on my skin, grabbing my ass, feeling my hips, waist, and legs, and "stuff" (This had us both grinning at each other). That this used to get us both riled up and turned on, and then he'd press his erection into my ass, or my crotch, and get me even more turned on. I told him this is what I miss, and that this hasn't happen since Chipmunk moved in. Between missing these things with him, and seeing how he interacts with Chipmunk it just makes me sad. This is where He (again) tells me that he wants to get back to where we were. He also commented that he see things headed the right way, and that us getting better will be a test for Chipmunk. That Chipmunk will have to decide to either deal or go as he and I get back to how things should be. I told him now he has some specifics to what I'm talking about when I say I miss him, or that I'm not talking about just sex. He say he knows what I meant. I told him that some days are better then others, and that recently he's been closer to me.
Later that evening he wakes me up not exactly like he used to, but more passionate, and tender then a few months or even a couple weeks ago. He knows what buttons to push, and took some time to actually explore me again. We snuggled, and talked a little afterwards. Silly things, like asking if I'd had a nice nap, and then bundling me up in the blankets and telling me to get some sleep. It was really sweat, and more tender towards each other then things have been for some time.
Today, Thursday he'll be sending the majority of the day with Chipmunk. Feeling like he and I have made progress it makes me sad to think I won't get to see much of him today. We have plans to curl up and watch a movie together Friday morning before taking Chipmunk to work. No plans for what we'll do specifically after she goes to work. Either way it's something fun to look forward too.
Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).
No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.
Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
|age difference, ffm, fmf, third partner, triad fallout, triads|