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Old 01-05-2013, 05:59 AM
amk amk is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
She'll always be the mother of your shared son, and a love of your life. But she does not have to be "the current, active love" of ALL your life, esp if she's hurting you by her behavior and refusal to talk.
I never thought of it like that (ie. "Current active love"). That's a really apt way of saying it. I've always felt like she will always be special because of being the mother of my son, but I hadn't thought of her being a love of my life if we were to split. I guess i'm realizing that my definition of love has always been kinda one dimensional. That makes me a little sad, but at least I am changing my perceptions now...

Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Has she had a check up? Since you say the first 11 years with her were good -- could she be suffering from mental illness like mood disorders, bipolar, or depression or anything that would make her recent behavior explainable?
She is in and out of the doctor's office every 2-3 weeks. She has been on meds for depression in the past, but can't be now because she is on chronic pain meds that would interact. She has had issues our entire marriage, though. So, nothing sticks out particularly. I truly understand that she is struggling with her health which is really tough on her. I have tolerated her moods and depression because despite those issues, she was a sweet, loving, compassionate, and passionate wife. That changed in January 2012.

Thank-you for the encouragement, GG. It genuinely helps to hear from others that I am making the right choice here. I can't say there isn't trepidation on my part. I am really scared and feeling alone, but I am trying to find solace in no longer worrying about trying to fix everything. It's very feeing to stop thinking about all the 'what-ifs' and just let her decide what she wants. If only I could've gotten here about 6 months ago, I could've saved myself A LOT of heartache and a lot of counseling fees (LOL)!!

Laura has been helping me alot, too. She came and picked me up the night I was looking for the bottom of a Jameson bottle. She talked me down and gave me good advice. I was a little apprehensive to lean on her while I was both drunk and vulnerable, but she was very respectful and we only talked. I appreciate her more than I think she knows and her perspective has been comforting.
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fears, insecuries, open marriage, polyamorous, wife sleep with other men

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