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Old 01-04-2013, 01:02 AM
UpsideDown's Avatar
UpsideDown UpsideDown is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 61
Default Communication Differences

So, DH and I both process things early, thoroughly and and quickly as is prudent to do so. When a family member became disabled and no one else could/would take them in, we did our research on the legal hurdles, power of attorney, medicaid, and in-home care and took up the responsibility. We researched our kids' special needs and chose what we thought were the best therapies. We read industry and consumer reports, evaluations, and user reviews...and then we buy vehicles. We're not impulsive, but we do not waste time meandering and tend to focus on things one at a time until they are completed.

CG is more...shall we say, a free spirit. This makes her a lot of fun as she is generally up for adventure, not very encumbered by structure, and very easily excitable. However, it also makes her a little flighty, and in our friendship that has just mean that I make plans and she sorta follows along. She also takes forever to get back to me on things, which, again, isn't a huge deal when it comes to work/friendship.

However in the perhaps-dating-kinda space, I have a few issues.
1) I'm unsure exactly what she feels. She's said that this is something she may/does want to explore at some point, but I'm not really sure what that means, and she takes weeks to get back to questions on the topic.
2) I'm clueless when it comes to dating. I've never been the one to take the first step before, and am doing a lot of holding my breath. She's said she's alright with me hold her hand and cuddling with her, and she's let me kiss her a total of three times, but she doesn't initiate those things and doesn't make it particularly easy for me to do so.

I'm feeling a bit...tolerated is probably a better word than patronized I suppose, but like a child with a crush on their babysitter. She won't tell me no, but she won't tell me yes, and she won't really give me any information, either. Without it, I tend to fall back on how we function in our friendship...trying to initiate events and things to do, and asking (really shyly) to hold her hand in the car. Other than that, though, I feel at a loss.

Other than just taking a LOT of deep breaths and waiting (which is what I'm doing most of the time now, and trying to improve my skills in), what can I or should I do?

*note, I'm not looking to date widely, I'm only really looking to have a relationship with her, so if the input could be tailored to this relationship, that would be helpful.
29, married to DH, the best guy in the world. 2 kids, dog, house with fence.
Developed a fast and accidental crush on then-best-friend, CG (cute-girl) and world fell apart after telling said girl. Came here for advice and info in case it became a thing. It didn't, but the friendship exploded. Turned world a bit upside-down, hence the moniker. ::sigh::
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