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Old 01-02-2013, 03:23 AM
katja24 katja24 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 46
Default Managing Feelings

What is the appropriate balance to strike so that you are managing your feelings effectively but not stuffing them?

J saw his partner, C, today. It was their first really sexually intimate date, and I was expecting everything to happen as it did. It still caused me some gut reactions of "Ack! Intimacy is being taken away from me!" (logically I of course disagree with this, but it was my gut reaction) Every time I imagine them having intimate, meaningful, emotionally charged sex, I feel a little heart sick.

J has been wonderfully sensitive in allowing me to express my emotions, within the context that that is all that I am doing. I am definitely not asking for any kind of behavior change, but I do feel the need to express how I feel and get emotional support from him.

How do I know if I am stuffing my feelings though? I suppose in the past I have known because I have had physical symptoms manifest (bad stomachaches, headaches, etc). I have had trouble sleeping the past couple of nights, and I am wondering if it is related to J & C's deepening intimacy.

Any thoughts or feedback? How do you manage your emotions when things cause such intense negative gut reactions for you?
29 yr old queer woman with primary male partner, J
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