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Old 01-02-2013, 03:23 AM
katja24 katja24 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 38
Default Managing Feelings

What is the appropriate balance to strike so that you are managing your feelings effectively but not stuffing them?

J saw his partner, C, today. It was their first really sexually intimate date, and I was expecting everything to happen as it did. It still caused me some gut reactions of "Ack! Intimacy is being taken away from me!" (logically I of course disagree with this, but it was my gut reaction) Every time I imagine them having intimate, meaningful, emotionally charged sex, I feel a little heart sick.

J has been wonderfully sensitive in allowing me to express my emotions, within the context that that is all that I am doing. I am definitely not asking for any kind of behavior change, but I do feel the need to express how I feel and get emotional support from him.

How do I know if I am stuffing my feelings though? I suppose in the past I have known because I have had physical symptoms manifest (bad stomachaches, headaches, etc). I have had trouble sleeping the past couple of nights, and I am wondering if it is related to J & C's deepening intimacy.

Any thoughts or feedback? How do you manage your emotions when things cause such intense negative gut reactions for you?
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25 yr old queer woman with primary male partner, J
www.sexualityreclaimed.com
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