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  #11  
Old 12-31-2012, 02:37 AM
Vinccenzo Vinccenzo is offline
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I wonder how much of it is due to the partner you see the least is usually with you when time has been set aside rather than you daily grind? Your choices usually impact them less allowing them to be more accepting of them. And maybe they can be more patient to the ups and downs of your emotions because they are exposed to less of them.
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  #12  
Old 12-31-2012, 03:37 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Viccenso-that wouldnt be the case in our situation. We all live together and we have for 10 years.
Its a personality thing.
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  #13  
Old 12-31-2012, 12:42 PM
Hannahfluke Hannahfluke is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinccenzo View Post
I wonder how much of it is due to the partner you see the least is usually with you when time has been set aside rather than you daily grind? Your choices usually impact them less allowing them to be more accepting of them. And maybe they can be more patient to the ups and downs of your emotions because they are exposed to less of them.
I'm not sure how much that applies in our situation either. My time is split pretty evenly between both my husband and my boyfriend. Time with my husband usually is just as carved out and set aside as time with my boyfriend, otherwise our relationship kind of gets lost in the shuffle. I think, in fact, that lately my boyfriend actually gets me when I'm more emotional, because it feels safer to be more emotional with him. That's what I'm here trying to get ideas for correcting, because it's not fair to him, or my husband really, to be only relying on my boyfriend for emotional support.
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  #14  
Old 12-31-2012, 12:46 PM
Hannahfluke Hannahfluke is offline
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Thank you GalaGirl, for your suggestions. One of the things I am trying to work on is making sure that I'm communicating in a way that my husband can understand, which is hard. It's hard to realize that this person I've been with for almost 24 years doesn't seem to understand me, that I have to spell every little thing out. I don't remember having to do that before we opened up, but maybe I did and just didn't notice it. It's hard to realize that the person I've been with for a year just instinctively knows how to comfort me better than the person who I've been with for 23 years. All of it's been hard, but I want to get to a better place with all of it, so I keep trying.
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  #15  
Old 12-31-2012, 02:04 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Aw... it's ok to feel that way. Could go easier on yourself and DH though. We all age and grow and change over time.

Keep in mind that BF gets the version of you that's already been honed by Life. Being with your spouse for 24ish years has helped shape you into the person you are today... to BF's benefit.

A person of today would not have to deal with me in my early 20's when I was all angry and struggling with emotional flooding/anxiety/stress and not having the skills I have today in anxiety management. I didn't even have a DX yet!

I'm not proud of it but there were times back then when I'd throw crap around and stomp out of the house in a temper fit.

I've asked DH how he'd feel about giving the next person "a leg up" in the ways of Galagirl when DH had to endure me and he laughed and said he didn't mind it at all. Why go back?

Keep trying -- so long as both you and DH are willing, sooner or later you will get there.

GL!
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