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  #51  
Old 12-24-2012, 04:05 AM
Nathan Nathan is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Nathan, glad to hear from you again, and it's nice to know you guys are are still together and have grown and evolved into a situation where everyone is happy and Aurelie isn't worried as much about you. It sounds like she has gained confidence from the experience.
Thanks nycindie. Yes, Aurelie does have a lot more confidence in telling us what she wants, and what she asks for, she usually gets. haha. She is also much more secure and gets less worried about hurting me, or us breaking up at some point. She loves what she has now, and is very happy at the moment.

Anyways, hope you have a nice Christmas.
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  #52  
Old 12-24-2012, 04:36 AM
Nathan Nathan is offline
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Originally Posted by Rjsolo View Post
That's wonderful. I think really, when you get through all the "kink" in cuckolding, this is the statement you'll find with most serious partners. It's just a situation where the husband devotes himself to the wife's happiness, and he derives a great deal of enjoyment from that. Peel back the theatrics and little things, and it's a very basic set of principles.
That's right Rjsolo. The most important thing to me is that she is as happy as she can possibly be. I think her happiness is more important to me than my own. I think this is a common theme for cuckolds, they put their girls wants and needs first!

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Originally Posted by Rjsolo View Post
I'm going through the same relationship now. We originally started as both seeing others, but then we stopped once we got serious in our professional lives (We have 2 children from her previous marriage as well, makes it hard to go out and be kinky.) But recently, she let me know that she has been missing it, especially the more aggressive/dominant tendencies of her ex.
Well, I wish you the best of luck, and I hope it goes as well for the three of you, as it has gone for us. I don't think that it would be an easy thing for most couples. I believe that you have to have a lot of confidence in your own love, and in your day to day relationship. Our relationship is very solid. Is the Bull the father of the two children?

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Originally Posted by Rjsolo View Post
I, however, have not been missing other women...and so we kind of fell into a cuckolding dynamic. And I'm more fulfilled by it then when I used to see other women. It's wonderful watching her get what she needs, and then being there for her afterwords, in the way that we connect (Emotionally.)...and I'd be lying if it was not extremely arousing to see the differences between what I can do and what her lover can, and we incorporate that play into our play while we're laying together (Usually involving just tertiary sex acts..heh, she jokes she is too tired and sore after him! Drives me wild.)
Aurelie and I have agreed that I will never see any other woman, and that I am for her, and her alone. To be honest, I never wanted to, but by making it clear between the two of us, that I am her cuckold, she has relaxed about our future a lot more, and is able to express herself in her role of a cuckoldress, which she very much enjoys. I know why she enjoys that role, but will not put words in her mouth. Like you, I enjoy watching her get what she needs sexually, or just knowing that she is getting it is enough. To hold her after, is I think, the thing that I like best about it. We also incorparate what her and Scott do into our own play, and as with you, this is done with teasing when she is playing and toying with me, after thet have had sex. Scott does exhaust her, they don't do quick sex! haha We have found that 100% honesty between us is a must!
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  #53  
Old 12-24-2012, 05:08 AM
Nathan Nathan is offline
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Originally Posted by Rjsolo View Post
Thank you. I'm free to answer any questions someone might have. I very much enjoy the lifestyle, but I almost *never* talk about it, because it's very misunderstood. People always assume the husband is going to be wearing panties and tied up in the corner--and I can say that such a thing is as rare as full on dungeons for BDSM people. And most guys would be annoyed if anything of the like was even suggested.
I think people may think that it makes you less of a man, or that your not man enough for your girl. I don't mind that talk when in a sexual situation, it's a turn-on for me. If not having a huge cock and not being able to go for however long you like, and being a dom and a aggressive person sexually makes me less of a man, than I am! However, I know that I am all man, and have enough confidence in myself to not be concerned about such things. The truth is, very few men could perform sexually like Scott does. He is better at sex than I am, its not that big a deal.

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Originally Posted by Rjsolo View Post
Myself, personally, it's a very relativistic "submission" scenario. Yes, there is a good deal of teasing and mild humiliation at being subtly compared to a more aggressive and perhaps physically better endowed lover. But the part of the relationship most don't expect is in just about every other aspect of our life, even in terms of sex when her lover isn't around, she is very submissive to me. (It's a pretty complex situation, I don't want to drown anyone in details of a kink unless they wish to discuss it--just using myself as an example.) And, on the whole, I'm not at all "effeminate", even if I am more emotionally "in touch" with her (Not that there is *anything* wrong with guys who are. More power to whatever makes you happy.)
I am always submissive to Aurelie when it comes to sex. I think this is borne out of how that sexual relationship started, and how her love and compassion helped me deal with my P.E problem. I also think that the fact that she has such control over when I cum, also has a lot to do with it. Emotionally we are so very close, and this adds to how we make love. Scott is not in anyway an emotional or affectionate person, although he does try sometimes.

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Originally Posted by Rjsolo View Post
Anyway, the big reason I like discussing it with other Polys is that sometimes I find the situation and people that would enjoy playing the more subtle aspects of it, don't ever talk about it because the theatrics of the extremes on the internet scare them off. A lot of the times, ironically, partners who don't want to discuss it are the wives who live in this situation, but they think their guy is all the sudden going to appear in a dress or worse, that he's going to get hurt by it all. When really all he might be looking for is a little dirty talk about her dates and how "thrilling" they were, and is usually secure enough about himself that he knows this type of play isn't threatening to what they already have--rather it's building something new for her (Not unlike the broader concept of poly.)...Nathan and Aur's start, mirrored my wife and I's, and at least a few other couples that I know--so I have to believe it's a pretty common thing among Mono-Poly couples!
The word Cuckold is just a label. Your right, I think it is very common in Mono-Poly couples. I think that there are a lot of girls in poly that prefer having sex with their secondary, but just choose not to say or compare or label it as cuckolding, which is fine, it doesn't matter.

For us, our relationship has been helped by frank honesty. Our love is more intense now, than it has ever been, and the four of us get on great, which undoubtable helps.

Merry Xmas to you.
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