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Old 12-21-2012, 07:43 PM
paradigm paradigm is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: London, KY - USA
Posts: 11

Thoughtful words. I'm working tooth and nail to adjust my personality sufficiently for poly, and its working. But I want it! So its is a pleasant labor, difficult, but welcome.

No one thinks or understands the same. You are not obligated to be any more accepting of things than your partner. People have limits, and boundaries, we may strive to change them, but you should have them respected based on where they are right now.

If you are working or want to work on loosening them, you need to let her know it. Make a plan, and stick to it, there will be compromise, you will both need compassion, and restraint. But you mustn't sit idle if you plan to change things. If you don't, then you need to be very clear about your feelings, and limits. It's no affront to anyone for you to want to do things how you like, but relationships always require cooperation. Your sharing each others lives requires an agreement to bend for each other. Or you will surely break.

Expect stubbed toes, try to avoid serious hurt. Talking, lots and truthfully, does that best.
“For an instant I think I saw. I saw the loneliness of man as a gigantic wave which had been frozen in front of me, held back by the invisible wall of a metaphor.”
― Carlos Castaneda, Journey to Ixtlan
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