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Old 12-15-2012, 06:28 PM
thisgirl thisgirl is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3
Default Hitting on someone new out of the blue

Some background-

My husband and I opened our relationship somewhat recently. We've had a few casual engagements which have gone well, but they've all stemmed from close existing friendships. I went on a few online dates, but nothing came of them.

Now...there's this guy. He works at the snazzy organic grocery store that we shop at regularly, and I have a total and inexplicable crush on him. He seems like a really nice guy, though I've only been able to strike up conversations about "Where are the XXX?" (He's never working register for some reason so I have to contrive pretty hard.) Obviously I don't want to keep doing that, he's going to think I'm the most incompetent grocery shopper ever.

So, there're several things at play:

- Even if I was single, I would have no idea how to hit on this guy in an environment where he is at work and I am the customer. The starting dynamics are weird.

- If I did think of a way (say, just being cheeky and slipping him a phone number and scampering off)...I'm *not* single and don't want to lead him to believe that I am. I am new to balancing the "So, I'm in this unusual situation, but I'm still totally worth dating, just get to know me!" stuff. We are young, and it seems like most single guys my age are at least open to a casual relationship with a married poly lass, even if that's not a lifestyle they want to commit to long-term (and that's okay with me.) But still, not sure how to bring it up without freaking him out.

- I don't want to fuck this up and make it awkward and have to switch grocery stores.

I tried posting a "missed connections" on craigslist that basically just said "I'm intrigued by you, email me and I'll send you my okcupid profile and you can decide if you're at all interested" but I haven't heard anything. Not sure how many people read that sort of thing. I've considered posting it up on the bulletin board at the store but then all his coworkers would see it and probably give him grief, I dunno :-/

Any ideas? Advice? It's all very new to me... even when I was single I always started off relationships with friends, I've never tried hitting on a near-stranger.
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