Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #9  
Old 12-14-2012, 10:05 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,250
Default

Another way to think of it -- you let him know how you're doing, he decides what to do with that information. That's true whether you choose to phrase things in terms of rules, boundaries, guidelines, agreements, needs, or none of the above, because in the end your partner always retains free agency. So, you can say to him -- "I wanted to let you know that I think I am in a place emotionally where I'd be ok with you spending weekend time with Shasti. So, if you want that, know that you can go for it without worrying about me. If it turns out that I was wrong, and it affects me more than I thought, I'll let you know."

Nothing in there about what he should or shouldn't do, simply info about you that will (hopefully) be relevant to his decision-making process. Do you think that might feel better?
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
 

Tags
new poly

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:07 AM.