Book and Website Recommendations

[BlackMagicBlonde]

rubyfish - your feelings and mine are similar, i think. i have deep emotional connections to 2 or 3 people whom i really care about, whose presences matter greatly in the way i live my own life....

Ethical Slut was good, but more of a carefree how-to...

Opening Up (Tristan Taormino) was GREAT in how it outlined solo polyamory for me...my guideline to go by and customize as my own!

Anapol's "New Love W/o Limits" was great as well, although i need to go back and read it again as it's been a minute...

try "The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory" by Francoise Simpere for another viewpoint...

no ONE of these books (and these are really the only ones i've read on the subject) did the BEST job of introducing/helping/explaining for me, but if you read each one and take what helps, leave the rest....

keep what resonates with YOU individually. leave the rest. some of it may be more meaningful you at a later date, in other circumstances. but different parts of each book helped me tremendously at my own crossroads.

[moonshadow]

"The Polyamory Handbook", by Pete Benson

A thorough treatment of the many pitfalls and permutations of poly relationships and stratagies for meeting and overcoming the various chalanges that might arise. This book deals with a lot of conflict resolution and contracts.

[bemorehappy]

I would love that copy if you still have it to forward .

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by bemorehappy

I would love that copy if you still have it to forward .

Who are you talking to? Which book?

[bemorehappy]

Originally Posted by nycindie

Who are you talking to? Which book?

sorry it was the Ethical Slut book offer I was referring to.

[amaranth]

http://loveisinfinite.wordpress.com

Articles and personal essays on life and love in polyamory from a young, bisexual, feminist point of view!


</shameless-self-promotion>

[raquel1962]

not sure if this is the right place to post this (sorry am new to the board) any recommendations for books that specifically address the dynamics and challenges of the triad?

[Maddy]

Thanks for this post and clarification, MonoVCPHG.

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG

This is the book I most recommend so far for those that want to explain polyamory to someone.

Polyamory:
The New Love Without Limits

http://www.lovewithoutlimits.com/books.html


Here is my reasoning for not recommending the Ethical Slut or even the book Opening Up.

Both the above books are more directed at those that want to open up. They are less sensitive to a person who is trying to understand why their partner needs this.

The New Love Without Limits, although less in depth and simplistic, does a better job of explaining the multiple "loving" aspect of polyamory in my opinion.

The "Ethical Slut" reads like a how-to to fuck lots of people in a mature responsible way.

Opening Up is a book for couples who want to open up.

A lot of times we are dealing with people who do not want to open up. This requires a great deal of clarity, sensitivity, and understanding of their perspective when presenting the reasons for how and why their partner wants/needs and can even have multiple loves.

I'm not sure of a book specifically designed for those people..the ones looking at their partners with broken hearts, feeling loss, inadequate or replaced.
I don't mean to sound dramatic..but that is what we are dealing with.

Peace and Love
Mono

[Helo]

Originally Posted by RickPlus

BOOK REVIEW: "Polyamory In the 21st Century: Love and intimacy with Multiple Partners", by Dr. Deborah M. Anapol, Published by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc, (c) 2010?, ISBN 976-1-4422-0021-0, 269 pages.

The library ordered this book for us, so I felt I should read it. I was not looking forward to it as I found Dr. Anapol's book, "Polyamory The New Love Without Limits", a dull read.

I enjoyed this book far more than her previous one. She speaks with greater authority and her writing is more personable and fun to read. Additionally there are few examples that are copied from the previous work - most of the examples she gives in this work are fresh.

The book is not simply an updating of her previous work. There are new chapters on how poly affects children. (Seems good to her but no scientific studies which say one thing or another.) There is a chapter on cross cultural perspectives and then she talks about poly in myth, archetypes and human evolution.

She spends less time than in her previous book about the 'how to' aspects of poly. I think that the discussion on jealousy is slightly better in this book than her previous one.

She repeats herself a bit. The chapter on myth, archetypes and evolution repeated stuff from earlier in the book (but goes into it in more depth). This made the later section lose a bit of its impact.

This book lacks the bibliography of other movies and fiction and non-fiction discussing poly. If you would like this, look at the first book.

One surprise that I got is that her definition of poly includes those who are currently monogamous but are willing to allow other people into their lives, even if they don't have another partner now. By that definition, my wife and I were poly from the day we were married 15 years ago.

Overall, I can recommend this book much more strongly than her previous work.

Warm regards, Rick.

I'm almost done reading this and I have to say its a great book. I really wish I'd discovered it when I first came to the idea of polyamory and it seems like an ideal book to give to someone who wants to get an idea of the various poly breeds.

It gets down to a lot of the how's and why's of poly and gives lots of examples that are easily relatable. I havent read her new book, but I would say this is an excellent book to give to someone who wants to learn about poly in a clear, concise way without massive overlay of New Agey ideas.

[LairdH]

Would it be egotistical to recommend my own book? It's not a "how-to" manual but rather a novel, the story of two couples who are irresistibly attracted to each other and of their children's lives with four parents. It's called Fallen Lake. You can get more information about it from www.fallenlake.com. (The publisher is offering a discount to people on polyamory discussion groups for the month of December. Go to https://www.createspace.com/3701683 and enter the discount code MFNCDVXR).

I'd love to hear what folks think of it.