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Old 11-24-2012, 12:25 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Default Wife's Diary, Husband's Diary

Wife's Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

I asked him what was wrong;

He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV.

He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.

He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.


Husband's Diary:

Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.
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Old 11-24-2012, 01:44 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Meh.

I've seen this story before but instead of "boat" it was "motorcycle". Could it be the same story perhaps?

I think the general consensus before was that the two people in this anecdote have a better relationship with their diaries than they do with each other, and if they talked to each other instead of their diaries, they would have a better relationship.

Also, the female in this story needs to realize that it isn't always about HER.

YMMV.

Last edited by BoringGuy; 11-24-2012 at 01:50 AM.
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Old 11-24-2012, 10:10 AM
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LoL sure, I guess... if you want to get all analytical about it... But my husband read me that from one of those Coffee News things you get at the diner, and he was laughing at how true it is. I'd never thought about it, but it hits pretty close to home.

Oh, we do talk, and my husband doesn't keep a diary... but other than that, he's exactly the guy in the anecdote. I've seen him fester all day over some problem like that, and it's always something that trivial. I'm not as bad as the woman, I'll ask him if something's wrong and check that he would tell me if he was, but when he confirms twice that nothing's wrong, I just believe him and move on. I figure if something was wrong and he didn't want to tell me right away, he'd have a reason. Sometimes he just deals with problems in his own way, without telling me, and that seems to work out fine.

BoringGuy, you've never come across to me as the "typical guy" portrayed in the joke. You seem to be in touch with your feelings. But my husband is 100% stereotypical Guy with a capital G. And in many ways, I'm a typical chick... always wondering if silence means I'm in trouble, when really it's just that the car is making a funny noise and he can't figure it out.
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Old 11-24-2012, 01:32 PM
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Well, I L'd OL, and quite L-ly, at the end of it.
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Old 11-24-2012, 02:12 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
LoL sure, I guess... if you want to get all analytical about it... But my husband read me that from one of those Coffee News things you get at the diner, and he was laughing at how true it is. I'd never thought about it, but it hits pretty close to home.

Well, the thing is, even though it's supposed to be funny, unfortunately this sort of thing does go on in real relationships enough that I can't help waxing analytical. It's hard to not sympathize with people out there who have to put up with partners like the woman in this story.
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Old 11-24-2012, 07:50 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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1) No one "has to" put up with any kind of partner. They choose to.

2) How about sympathizing with the people who deal with partners like the man in this story? Yeah, she gets way overly worked up over it, but how is, "It's nothing, don't worry about it" better than just telling her what's on his mind? It may not be hugely important, but obviously it's a big enough deal to keep his mind on it and she's noticed and asked, so why not just answer?? Even though her reaction is over-the-top, his response is not part of an open, honest relationship that lends itself to making the participants feel liked a trusted part of a team.
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Old 11-24-2012, 08:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Well, the thing is, even though it's supposed to be funny, unfortunately this sort of thing does go on in real relationships enough that I can't help waxing analytical. It's hard to not sympathize with people out there who have to put up with partners like the woman in this story.
To me, the thing is that it could have been avoided if, when she first asked "what's wrong" he'd just replied "I can't figure out why my boat won't start."

Frankly, if your partner is quiet and withdrawn all day, ignoring you and obviously deep in thought about something, it's not unreasonable to think something is wrong.

In other words, he said "nothing" when she asked what's wrong. But that wasn't strictly true. There was something wrong, just not in the relationship, so he didn't see the point in talking about it. Instead he kept her guessing.

Stereotypically, when you ask a woman what's wrong, and she says "nothing" but then keeps being sour, it probably means you royally fucked up and she's just waiting for you to figure out what you did. So women can project that thinking pattern on their partners.
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The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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Old 11-24-2012, 09:04 PM
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I have learned that it is almost never about me, so I have changed my language (because I still think that first) to: 'Whatcha thinkin' 'bout, darling?' Which is more likely to get me more information.
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  #9  
Old 11-25-2012, 01:02 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
To me, the thing is that it could have been avoided if, when she first asked "what's wrong" he'd just replied "I can't figure out why my boat won't start."

Frankly, if your partner is quiet and withdrawn all day, ignoring you and obviously deep in thought about something, it's not unreasonable to think something is wrong.

In other words, he said "nothing" when she asked what's wrong. But that wasn't strictly true. There was something wrong, just not in the relationship, so he didn't see the point in talking about it. Instead he kept her guessing.

Stereotypically, when you ask a woman what's wrong, and she says "nothing" but then keeps being sour, it probably means you royally fucked up and she's just waiting for you to figure out what you did. So women can project that thinking pattern on their partners.
But there was also this:

Quote:
He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
He answered her question. if she wanted to know more, she could have asked additional specific questions instead of letting her imagination go out of control.
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Old 11-25-2012, 01:04 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
1) No one "has to" put up with any kind of partner. They choose to.
Yeah yeah, whatever.

Quote:

2) How about sympathizing with the people who deal with partners like the man in this story? Yeah, she gets way overly worked up over it, but how is, "It's nothing, don't worry about it" better than just telling her what's on his mind? It may not be hugely important, but obviously it's a big enough deal to keep his mind on it and she's noticed and asked, so why not just answer?? Even though her reaction is over-the-top, his response is not part of an open, honest relationship that lends itself to making the participants feel liked a trusted part of a team.
Because not only are the people in this story not real, they also deserve each other.
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