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  #11  
Old 10-22-2012, 08:52 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Keep seeing each other.
Ditto. And enjoy! (what else could the answer be? )
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  #12  
Old 10-24-2012, 03:38 PM
Stevenjaguar Stevenjaguar is offline
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What you're proposing to do really isn't that unusual. I know another couple who were virgins when they got married. A few years in felt like she needed some more experience and was able to get it. She got her experience and he knows that she's not sitting around wondering what it would have been like, so it worked out.

Be prepared, though, if the guy you have a crush on just wants to carve another notch in his pistol. You said he was "kind of a ladies man".
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  #13  
Old 10-24-2012, 03:55 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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To use some old fashioned words... you were dating. You decided to "go steady" with the boyfriend. Now you both are deciding that you don't want to "go steady" but want to continue to date each other and date other people. Maybe and even up to becoming another person's lover. You now have a new "understanding."

Where is problem?

Was your plan to just go and jump this new guy's bones tomorrow?

Or was the plan to go out on a few dates to see what he is really like before deciding anything more?

I mean, he has a voice of his own here too. Maybe he's not interested in dating you or being your lover. Maybe he's not cool with poly situations. Maybe he's cool with it but you get to know him and find out he plays the accordion on weekends and the constant noise totally turns you off. (I try to joke to keep it light.)

Don't jump the gun "what iffing" all kinds of things in your head. BREATHE. If you want to ask him out on a date, ask him out. Find out what you need to find out. THEN see what you see.

At this point -- you have run it by your BF and he's informed and on board. So... don't overthink it. If this is what you want to do, do. *shrug* Decided this is NOT what you want to do after all? Do not do. Don't go all tempest in a teapot over it working yourself up. Whatever you pick is totally ok and totally right for YOU. You are being honest, nothing is hidden here.

You get to choose how to write your life story. YOU are in charge of your behavior and choices. Isn't that a neat thing?

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 10-24-2012 at 03:59 PM.
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  #14  
Old 10-28-2012, 10:14 AM
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rory rory is offline
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Originally Posted by purelyparadox23 View Post
Do you guys have any suggestions/thoughts on what to do if the other guy and I end up liking each other?
One thing I'd like to point out that feelings don't automatically have to lead to something. You should still ask yourself what it is that you want to do.

You will have choices. I don't see any reason you couldn't be friends after having sex. I don't see any reason why you couldn't be friends and keep having sex, if all want and are cool with that. But you can also acknowledge that you like him and enjoy the feeling, but decide against making him a part of your life.

Also, if you fall in love with him (in addition to your boyfriend) that can be managed as well. If you want to, you can negotiate becoming poly with your boyfriend, and then ask the new guy would be interested in that. But you can also love him, and still not want to be in a poly relationship. Or love him and still not want a relationship with him.

What you decide to pursue is firstly a question of what you want. After you figure out that, you can start looking at what is possible etc.
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  #15  
Old 11-22-2012, 01:00 PM
TOROdeSerenity TOROdeSerenity is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
T
I mean, he has a voice of his own here too. Maybe he's not interested in dating you or being your lover. Maybe he's not cool with poly situations. Maybe he's cool with it but you get to know him and find out he plays the accordion on weekends and the constant noise totally turns you off. (I try to joke to keep it light.)
Galagirl
you have to consider the other person involved as well. sure you and your Boyfriend have to agree on boundries and all but this guy may not be into it at all. He might just feel used. Alot of ladies men are really closet romantics looking to be loved. They fall for girls quick and put up walls. He might be into the experiment. You should be completely open with everyone involved and make sure no chest pumping goes on. It is all possible and has been done before.
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