I'm going to skip over late weekend and write about the multi-part conversation between Airyn, Chipmunk and I tonight.
One of Airyn and I's biggest concern is how comfortable Chipmunk really is with He and I being intimate while she is home. From hugs, kissing, making out to sex. Be it in the when we are all together in the kitchen, or when it is just the two of us in the shower or the next room. I have let Airyn know that I am fine with the intimacy and sex between he and Chipmunk. That my issue is MY perception of the two of them being able to do thing he and I can't (or don't get to) do. And that I realize that it is MY perception, and that it is something I have to work on.
So Chipmunk got off work tonight, and we are all chatting amicably in the kitchen. Airyn is making us all something to eat. So we talk about a suggestion/offer that Chipmunk made earlier in the day. Airyn had related her idea to me a couple days ago, but i just kind of blew it off. She wasn't coming to me with the offer, and while it is something I would like I didn't see it as something she was truly comfortable with. So I bring it up, and tell her that the reason I said I needed to think about how I feel about it first is that I'm not confident in what she expects. All I did was ask questions and see what her answers were. They were what I had hoped for. That she was OK with what she was offering. She and I are on the same page, I'm trying to offer her the time she wants with Airyn, and she is trying to offer me the same. Since this is a new offer, and Airyn is uncertain we made it clear that if she finds that she is uncomfortable she has to let us (or at least Airyn) know the same day. Neither of us what her to be uncomfortable. We also talked about her offer being something that I could return the favor for her, and have decided to wait till next weekend before we try it out. Airyn was still worried that it would be uncomfortable and cause him extra stress, so Chipmunk and I both agreed that he nees to give us girls the chance to see how we feel before he gets worried about it.
This is a big step. For one thing the largest part of the conversation was about her expressing her needs/wants. I reiterated again that if she doesn't tell me what she wants then I can't look for ways to provide her with her wants. I explained that if she and I had never had our talk the first Friday of my vacation that I wouldn't be looking for ways to provide her with more day time wakeful hours with Airyn. That my next outing with a new female friend was planned on her day off because it is her day off. I told her that i could have planned it for the day before or the day after, but I chose her day off so she could have what I now understand is something she wants. Daylight hours with Airyn where she is wide awake and not jeopardizing her sleep schedule.
From there I brought up money, and how Airyn has explained that to Chipmunk my way of splitting/sharing the household gas and food expenses is too nebulous and uncertain for Chipmunk. So as a group (threesome) we hashed out a good starting point. And I offered her a solution to her stated problem with bringing her lunch with her to her job so that Airyn does HAVE to bring her anything. I also explained that I realize the real point behind that demand was so that Airyn would come see her on his lunch break. I pointed out that the concern she keeps bring up she has invalidated with her own actions at home. And told her that it doesn't matter if that is a concern or not I have a solution to that that covers both of her concerns, and allows me to have at least one of her work days per week where Airyn isn't obligated to be at her job for her lunch. I also pointed out how she felt the last time she got pissy before going to work and told Airyn not to bother bringing her a lunch. He showed up of his OWN desire to see her at her lunch time, and she was giddy with pleasure. I pointed out that he WANTS to visit her on her lunch break, so she has no need to be so ridge about it. I told her that really All I'm asking for is that if she is working on Fridays to let me have those with Airyn uninterrupted by her. She agreed and was actually all smiles.
I also told her that I feel a time will come where I am up for and able to do certain things with her and Airyn that I would LIKE to be able to do. That right now I'm still angry with her. And that I realize that it is my issue to deal with. I also point out that she has a jealousy issue that she has to work around. I told her that it is normal, and she just has to work it out. That she needs to come to Airyn and I will her issues, and realize that Airyn LOVES her and that she loves him. I told her that if she can't see that then there is a serious problem.
We also talked seriously about shower sexy times. Something that has been acceptable most of the time, but recently Airyn has become uncomfortable because one or the other of us did or said something that made him feel we were NOT ok with it. So she and I both agreed that we are OK. And then it was past time for Chipmunk to get some sleep as she has work bright and early. So I told her to hop in the shower with Airyn. She was complaining about back pain due to working. I told her to take a hot shower, and enjoy the comfort that that and Airyn can provide. That these two things will help her fall a sleep and to sleep better. That she will thank me in the morning cause she will feel better. She was about to ignore my advice so I followed her into the bedroom, and told her and Airyn to get her into a hot shower take care of both of those needs and then she can fall asleep. She and I even kissed for the first time in about a month.
So for now things are looking up. I'm trying to be optimistic without getting my hopes up too much. Will update as time goes on and I see how things work out.
Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).
No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.
Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
|age difference, ffm, fmf, third partner, triad fallout, triads|