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Old 11-20-2012, 07:52 PM
CrimsonCutie CrimsonCutie is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2
Default Mono to Poly: Advice?

Hopefully I've done this right......

So, the main reason I'm on these forums is because I've realized I'm poly. Shocker, I know. The thing is I'm in a serious mono relationship. My boyfriend of two years today is the best person I could ever consider being with. We know each other well and love each other deeply but I still can't help longing to multiply the love I feel by having another partner.

We've always had an interesting relationship. He's very understanding and introverted while I'm more outgoing and the more proactive one. I can't lie to him, we know all of each others intimate secrets and he's actually been really open minded and has allowed me to flirt and even be sexually involved with girls (Slowly warming up to the idea of me with other guys) while we're at college and away from each other more often then not.

So it wasn't surprising to either of us when I finally admitted I'm poly. It doesn't bother him that I am, but it bothers him that I've hinted at making our relationship more poly accepting. He says the reason he's ok with the open sexual relationship is because he knows we are totally loyal to one another and that another person couldn't split that up. He can accept lust but he's not ok with love.

I'm not about to break up with him over it, but it hurts. I've finally discovered why one relationship just never felt enough for me and thought he'd be at least a little more willing to learn about it like I've been trying to but he seems firm and when I tried to talk to him about it more he quickly went to a new subject.

I don't mind staying mono if that's what he wishes but I need to know should I bring it up again? Will having the open sexual relationship harm my trying to get him to understand what poly means to me, and in general? And will going to poly things help or hurt the situation if I'm just going to get more comfortable with who I am instead of going to find someone else? Really just anything would help.
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