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Old 06-07-2009, 07:00 PM
ABQTrio ABQTrio is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Albuqueruqe, NM
Posts: 1
Exclamation Sincere request for advice and/or links to resources....

Hello Everyone!

What a delight it is to stumble upon this site today. I was doing research for a site like this because my wife and I have been in a polyamorous relationship with another male for about six months and we've encountered a stumbling block we're not sure how to overcome.

A bit of background to level set: Ny wife and I have been happily married for the last 18 years and have a relationship built on love, respect, and communication. A year ago I came out to my wife in terms of having desires for men and through the difficulties in understanding and managing those desires, decided to pursue this together. We went the route of being "kids in a candy store" and experiencing guys, etc. but we are not swingers and empty encounters sans emotion/relationship did not appeal to either of us. We met a man six months ago who was divorced and identified himself as gay. Being presented with this option of us both he would say - he "didn't realize was an option." This being said - over the last six months we have all been able to develop and grow a loving and "in love" relationship between the three of us. It has hads its ups and downs like any relationship - but it has been satisfying and is very real.

So the problem and where I need advice: Our partner is a very loving and conscientious man. He has struggled his entire adult life with his sexuality (i.e. being gay/bi) with his faith as a Bible-believing Christian. Clearly they don't reconcile. As believers, my wife and I have a belief that we love and serve a loving God and that with the level of respect and communication we have between the two/three of us that we are able to live a life with integrity while maintaining our individual character and personal belief system. We are (M-40, F43) and our partner is (M-50). I give our ages because I think it lends itself to the established patterns and lifestyle we have all led for the past 20-30 years. Our partner is having a difficult time reconciling his faith with his own sexuality gay/bi/or poly. We love him enough to let him go so he can be true to himself and ending our relationship would be deeply painful for all three of us. Is there anything out there we can point him to to help him understand himself better - that can help him reconcile his own personal beliefs, etc? We are NOT trying to change him - we just want to support him.

I know this is probably a very typical problem but being poly brings along enough challenges in and of itself - without compounding it with faith. If anyone has any suggestions - they would be sincerely appreciated. Thank you.
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