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Old 11-19-2012, 02:36 PM
Kemie's Avatar
Kemie Kemie is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Milwaukee
Posts: 22
Default Break Up Pattern

It seems as if there is a pattern: I find a suitable secondary and integrate them into my life. This time it was really nice: Wolfwood and Russo got along really well; they were friends. Secondary and I get extremely attached and fall in love. Things are lovely for awhile with everyone happy... and then the pain starts. Secondary wants monogamy and can no longer handle the situation. Imminent break up.

How do I stop this pattern?

Last night Russo told me we couldn't see each other anymore, because he wants monogamy with me. It hurts him too much to think about me being with other men; even if it's just Wolfwood and no one else. I'd decided not to see anyone except the two of them. We'd spoken about his wants and needs before, so it wasn't entirely unexpected. The timing was, though.

I'm happy in my relationship with Wolfwood (~2.5 years); but I'm really torn up.

That was the beginning of considering going back to monogamy. Wolfwood requires an open relationship, although he has recently said otherwise that this is negotiable. I have to trust him when he says he'll be ok with monogamy.... but I'm really not so sure.

I'm just so tired of hurting because being poly is unacceptable. When I started with Russo, he went happily into the poly frame.... so I thought I'd corrected the mistake I made choosing a monogamous secondary (like I did with Legs.) Little did I know what a traditionalist Russo actually was.

Can I have some advice about avoiding this pattern?
Me: Mid-Twenties. Bi-sexual, but not bi-emotional. My open poly boyfriend: Wolfwood. My mono-boyfriend: Russo.
My blog; sexually-explicit posts locked under friends-only. Friend to read: Polygoodgirl
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break up

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