Talking with friends and family

[redsirenn]

argh. I realize why I spend time on here. I don't have many people in real life to talk to about these issues. I feet so trapped about it with my family. I don't like not being able to share what I am processing with them. I can talk to my sister, however. She is not judgmental, but at the same time, you cannot say she is supportive.

It seems like most everyone I attempt to talk to about this says in one way or another : " It will end badly".

I already have all of society telling me this. I can't debate the issue with society or my friends (nor do I have the desire, or energy to). I believe in this philosophy (philosophy is what I would talk about with them) and yet I have the hardest time without a support network at home.

I want that badly.

Sometimes I feel a wave of insecurity, or I question decisions I make, and all I want is to run it by my best girl friends like I would any other guy issue. And then I am met with negativity, or them feeling sorry for me - ??, or telling me to run. I don't want to run. I don't know if I am "right". I don't know if I will get hurt.

Please, someone, tell me how you deal with this. and - por favor, don't be a spokesperson for poly. I have come to rely on you all for the mixed responses. And - Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

happy holidays.

[LovingRadiance]

Well the bottom line in my opinion isn't "if" you will get hurt. OF COURSE you will get hurt. It doesn't matter how perfect a relationship you have-it doesn't matter if its poly, mono, or just with yourself, if you are "just friends" or siblings or family or whatever, YOU WILL GET HURT.

That's neither here nor their.

The point is that you have to find whatever it is in life that is MOST right for you and then live that life to the best of your ability. For many of us what is "right" won't even be similar from now-to 20 years from now! It's a day to day thing we each have to live with on our own.

As for family/friends, I guess I really chose wisely-or got REALLY fucking lucky-becuase I've just always been ME with all of my friends-and so they weren't overly suprised about my "lifestyle" when i suddenly popped in with a woman on my arm, or when I announced that my marriage was "coming out as poly". I think the most shocking thing I had done was have a baby, followed by getting married. The idea that I might do something NORMAL was what shocked them.

I've always lived by the premise that I am who I am and they'll just have to take me as such or get out. A lot of people ran away-but the ones who stayed-were WELL worth being myself from beginning to now.