Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

[Magdlyn]

This morning I found msgs from 3 guys, one on Fetlife, 2 on okc.

Fetlife one:

Hi
How are you my name is S___ I like your pic n profile and would love to chat witth you Please check out my profile and if it interest you i would love to hear back
Thankx
S___

Ugh.

From okc:

Great profile... you're a really sexy woman. I'm quite attracted to you, any interest in chatting?

B__

Duh.

hey saw your profile, i'd like to get to know you

Blech.

When men on here say they can't meet women, I HOPE they aren't writing first messages like that and expecting any response.

[SchrodingersCat]

Originally Posted by Cleo

Probably the 'be safe, be happy'' part is what irks me the most. But it's really more a gut feeling than something specific, because there is nothing really wrong with this line is there?

Originally Posted by MeeraReed

Funny! I was thinking the same thing about the "be safe, be happy" making me feel really creepy somehow. Can't even articulate why.

Maybe it's him calling her a "young lady" too. Ick.

I think it's the familiarity of his comment. Those are things you say to someone you know. "Hope all is well" is something you say to a person you haven't heard from in a while and you're checking in. "Be safe, be happy" is something you say to someone close.

Ironically about the "young lady" comment is that he's younger than me, to boot.

I always reply to everything, mainly to maintain my "always replies" status. But it didn't take me long to confirm my own suspicious, that he was a waste of time... and bandwidth.

[Helo]

Originally Posted by Magdlyn

Fetlife one:

Ugh.

Blech.

When men on here say they can't meet women, I HOPE they aren't writing first messages like that and expecting any response.

Not to be a typical dude about it, but what's wrong with those? (#1 and #3) Yeah I'll agree they aren't terribly creative but I don't see anything overtly wrong with them.

#2 is a little too forward, with you on that one, totes.

[Cleo]

"Ciao, Evita!"
(this was the entire message)

???

I don't look like Evita, am not from Argentina, and neither is he.

[Cleo]

Originally Posted by Helo

Not to be a typical dude about it, but what's wrong with those? (#1 and #3) Yeah I'll agree they aren't terribly creative but I don't see anything overtly wrong with them.

#2 is a little too forward, with you on that one, totes.

what's wrong with them (in my opinion, don't know about Magdlyn of course) is that I like a first message to at least acknowledge that the person messaging me, read my profile. The ones quoted here can be copy paste ones that these guys send 50 times a day. It shows no effort that they would want to gt to know me.

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by Helo

Not to be a typical dude about it, but what's wrong with those? (#1 and #3) Yeah I'll agree they aren't terribly creative but I don't see anything overtly wrong with them.

#2 is a little too forward, with you on that one, totes.

Well, the obvious glaring issue is that none of them indicate that they actually read Mags's profile at all. It is not enough to say you liked someone's profile, pick out an item or two from it and comment on it - it's called starting a conversation! That's what makes all of them look like form letter messages that they copy and paste and send to everyone - they probably blast everyone with the same crappy note.

Furthermore, they don't share anything about themselves! AND the first one would turn me off even more because he sucked at spelling and proofreading. Make a good first impression, for crap's sake!

The second one only indicates he finds Mags attractive but nothing else, so it's doubtful he even read her profile at all. Seriously, would a woman jump at the chance to respond to a guy who's just looking at pictures and not trying to discern whether a person might be a match personality-wise? Substance, guys, substance is what women want!

And the last one sucks because it doesn't indicate anything at all, nothing about himself nor what appeals to him about Mags. WHY does he want to get to know her? Sheesh, just because he wants to know her, she should be all "oh great" and want to know him? And no punctuation or capitalization? Egad.

Such carelessness and narcissism. Blech is right.

I can't believe we had to spell it out for you, Helo.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I received this message on OKC today:

Hi,

How are you? How was your weekend! I'm D____. How's this site treating you? I'm pretty new on here...

I consider myself sincere, thoughtful & yet aggressive, dominant & passionate at the same time.( if that makes sense!

I'm drawn to smart, mature, curvy, opinionated, strong minded Woman with a submissive & kinky side

Hope to hear from you...

Best,
D

And my profile clearly states that I am NOT into BDSM. <sigh>

[ThatGirlInGray]

Thought of you all on this thread when I saw this: http://www.mandatory.com/2012/11/13/...e-guys-will-go

Not saying all guys on OKC are like this, but it was definitely a reality check about who might be out there!

[Helo]

Originally Posted by Cleo

what's wrong with them (in my opinion, don't know about Magdlyn of course) is that I like a first message to at least acknowledge that the person messaging me, read my profile. The ones quoted here can be copy paste ones that these guys send 50 times a day. It shows no effort that they would want to gt to know me.

Originally Posted by nycindie

Well, the obvious glaring issue is that none of them indicate that they actually read Mags's profile at all. It is not enough to say you liked someone's profile, pick out an item or two from it and comment on it - it's called starting a conversation! That's what makes all of them look like form letter messages that they copy and paste and send to everyone - they probably blast everyone with the same crappy note.

Furthermore, they don't share anything about themselves! AND the first one would turn me off even more because he sucked at spelling and proofreading. Make a good first impression, for crap's sake!

And the last one sucks because it doesn't indicate anything at all, nothing about himself nor what appeals to him about Mags. WHY does he want to get to know her? Sheesh, just because he wants to know her, she should be all "oh great" and want to know him? And no punctuation or capitalization? Egad.

Such carelessness and narcissism. Blech is right.

I can't believe we had to spell it out for you, Helo.

I think you're both drastically over-estimating how much thought goes into these messages from the guy's perspective.

Like I said, #2 needs to be punched squarely in the dick just on principal and I will agree #1 and #3 are little un-creative but aside from that I don't really see anything so horribly atrocious that you cant bang out a ten second response. Considering how rare it is to get a response as a guy, I wouldn't be stunned if those are copypasta.

I just get irked when someone draws up an entire psych profile on another person based on less than a handful of information. #1 and #3 could very well be halfway decent guys who just aren't Shakespeare. The odds are somewhat against that possibility, I'll give you.

[ThatGirlInGray]

Originally Posted by Helo

I think you're both drastically over-estimating how much thought goes into these messages from the guy's perspective.

No, that's the problem. They're estimating correctly how much thought went into the responses- none.

I don't really see anything so horribly atrocious that you cant bang out a ten second response. Considering how rare it is to get a response as a guy, I wouldn't be stunned if those are copypasta.

It's like writing a cover letter for a job. If you put thought into it and make it specific to that company, your odds of a positive response increase. If you really want a response from me, then you have to show me that you actually want to get to know ME, not just anyone with a vagina. Why on earth should I waste even 10 seconds responding to something that generic??

I just get irked when someone draws up an entire psych profile on another person based on less than a handful of information. #1 and #3 could very well be halfway decent guys who just aren't Shakespeare. The odds are somewhat against that possibility, I'll give you.

Fine, maybe they're halfway decent guys. Maybe they aren't narcissistic, just lazy. Doesn't mean I owe them anything, even a response. I'm still not gonna bother responding to every halfway decent message. Rather than wasting my time on those, I'll save my time and energy for those who actually pique my interest.

[NovemberRain]

hullo Helo,

I'm not drawing up a psych profile, I'm just saying to myself, well, he clearly hasn't bothered to get to know me (which he's indicated by not noting anything he read in my profile), and there's absolutely nothing there to inspire me to write back.

OKC, in particular, asks a lot of a profile. That I took the trouble to answer all that stuff, with thought and feeling, is gonna require more from a guy than an uncreative looks-like-a-copy-pasta message to get a reply from me. I don't feel any obligation to 'bang out a 10 second response.' That's not why I put up an ad. If he can't be bothered to try to present himself in the first message, why would I imagine he'll get 'better' later?