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Old 11-10-2012, 09:59 PM
garhdo's Avatar
garhdo garhdo is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Stoke-On-Trent, UK
Posts: 17
Default Relationship breakdown - How can I move on?

Hi.

So I have made a few posts before about the complicated poly relationship that me, Mrs, J and B found ourself in, and about how B was unhappy with the whole thing.

Well, since then B has decided that he doesn't want to have anything more to do with us. J, as his fiancee, has gone with his wishes and is not seeing us at present either, in fact she is barely speaking with us, while he is outright ignoring us. Its hard but what we have gotten out of them so far is that she still wants to see us, at least as friends if not more as she still cares about us. B however doesn't feel that way and probably hasnt for a while. In fact their own relationship has suffered as J, being poly, has put a lot of effort into her other connections and so is focusing on him now. They have stopped swinging and apparently are not seeing or talking to any of their old partners.

The problem is that while I cant speak for Mrs, (despite having a very good idea how she feels - I'm sure she'll post here later as herself) I dont think I can adjust back to being just friends with them. For B its because of how he did this and the way he seemed to attack us out of the blue - it hurt me and I'm not sure I want to see him. With J, well I still love her and still I fancy her - a lot in fact. My feelings for her are not very different to my feelings for Mrs. They are both two of the most important people in my life. However I dont want to lose her and if that means I can only see her as a friend then I need to move beyond these feelings.

Does anyone have any advice on how to do this? Anyone have any similar experiences - Either losing a partner but trying to keep them as a friend. Or having a poly partner leaving for a mono relationship?
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Bio in Brief: Me and Mrs open and swinging. Mrs also seeing A. Recent relationship breakdown with J and B.
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