Why do people "Break up"
Lately some of the people in our community have been ending some of their relationships for various reasons. I found myself having a problem with the choice of words being used to describe the change in their relationships.
They refer to it as “breaking up”. This is a very common phrase used by most people to announce the end of a romantic/intimate relationship.
For some reason this is really starting to bother me. It is as if the term “breaking up” refers to a complete stop in the relationship.
I like to believe that all relationships regardless of their nature consist of many layers and levels of connection. I also believe that they have many ways of communicating based on the depth of those relationships. I find it disturbing to label the change in communicative depth of a relationship to be deemed as breaking up. Just because you are no longer expressing your connection or love in a certain way (usually sexually in the type of relationships I am referring to) I don’t see it as “breaking” something but reshaping the manner in which it is expressed; the emphasis is removed from one depth or layer but remains in others. The entire relationship is not lost. The relationship has merely been reshaped to incorporate a healthy way for the participants to enjoy each other.
To say that removing one aspect of a relationship ends it is a sad concept to me. It is too limited and does not recognize the remaining value.
I would rather have a happy and healthy connection on a few levels than struggle to maintain a relationship on all levels or one in particular. I personally feel it is important to take joy and a sense of fulfillment from what is natural and un-forced in a relationship. Trying to maintain or obtain other layers would be draining and ultimately lead to a complete break down of the relationship and therefore might actually result in a “break up”.
That’s my vent for the day
Peace and Love
Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes
Poly Events All Over
Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 12-22-2009 at 05:26 AM.
|break up, break-ups|