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  #321  
Old 11-07-2012, 10:31 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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I met my ex-husband at a dance club - but for people met while already poly? Both my husband and boyfriend through OKcupid. OKC also has led to a couple dates here or there with nice people. For in person, at poly friendly parties I did meet one girl I had a couple dates with, and some decent people at a weekly poly friendly bowling.

I've only felt some sort of instant chemistry 3 times in the last 8 years though - one was the above mentioned woman, the other two were in everday situation where I wouldn't have known how to turn the interaction into flirting even if it didn't seem kind of inappropriate, so I am guessing I'm stuck with OKC. I figure since neither my husband or boyfriend were instant connections I don't have anything to lose by going that route Either that or become an extroverted social fiend, which seems less likely...
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  #322  
Old 11-08-2012, 01:29 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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I met MrS at a party while he was home on spring break my senior year of high school - waited 4 months to seduce him and then took another 6 months to admit that we were in a "relationship".

Met Dude at his grandmother's house when MrS took me to meet his snake (which he needed a home for). 4 months later I "met" him again - in my basement TV room - and "sparks" happened.

VV was MrS's college friend, MsJ married our friend.

I hate dating and doubt I would ever meet anyone that wasn't already a friend or a friend-of-a-friend.

JaneQ

PS. for the record - Dude says he has met every girlfriend he has ever had in someone's living room...
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #323  
Old 11-08-2012, 02:02 AM
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Bluecircle Bluecircle is offline
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Thank you, JaneQ! Note to self "visit more living rooms".
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  #324  
Old 11-08-2012, 02:16 AM
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Alleycat Alleycat is offline
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Met the Wife thru a mutual friend one summer evening many years ago. We lived very close to each other in the neighbourhood, and apparently I had caught her eye weeks ago in passing on a bus. (Although at the time I hadn't noticed her . . .. yet)

Met the girlfriend outside a bar I frequent, she had just moved into the area at the time, She had actually stopped there to borrow a lighter and find something to do that evening, ended up having a few beers with me and a couple of my friends that evening.

Previous partners and flings I've met at work, in bars, at concerts and shows, in line for coffee in the morning . . . . . . . pretty much anywhere.
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  #325  
Old 11-08-2012, 02:46 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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This is an excellent thread because so many people come on here asking "how do you meet other poly people?" Although I tend to look down my nose at people who are frantically searching for partners, i think they deserve a better answer than "try OKCupid and look for poly groups and meet-ups in your area". Yet, at the same time, telling them "just go about your life and do stuff that interests YOU and you will find partners, but you won't find anyone if you're TRYING too hard", while appealing to those of us for whom that has been the case, is like trying to describe some activity, such as skydiving, that can only be appreciated by experience (I have never gone sky-diving). People are also often told to look for poly people at Ren Faires and the SCA. That always gets a laugh out of me because how desperate do you have to be to take up a hobby or activity you'd hitherto had no interest in JUST BECAUSE there might be poly people there. I mean, people have ulterior motives in all sectors and walks of life, but I still find it creepy that the relationship-needy individual is just hanging around to scope people out, like a guy who signs up for a sewing circle JUST to be around females.

Anyway, I'm going off. The point of this post was to express appreciation for all these real-life examples being collected in one place.
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  #326  
Old 11-08-2012, 03:01 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
I mean, people have ulterior motives in all sectors and walks of life, but I still find it creepy that the relationship-needy individual is just hanging around to scope people out, like a guy who signs up for a sewing circle JUST to be around females.
Or a cooking class.

You just reminded me... back in the early '90s when a friend of mine and I decided we wanted to find more sensitive men to date, so we attended a lecture by Sam Keen. He had just written Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man. My friend and I kept joking we were on a manhunt. Oh, boy, we decided never to do that again., although I did get a date from someone I met there who took me to a Bruce Springsteen concert, but that bored me to tears.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #327  
Old 11-08-2012, 05:35 AM
Fiona Fiona is offline
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Met my husband through mutual friends almost half our lifetimes ago. We didn't date until many years later, and have been together nearly ten years.

My partner - we met at a mutual friend's birthday party. I had an intense and immediate crush on him, but avoided doing anything about it because I thought he was too young/uninterested. Four months later, we really started talking (and making out) at a party at the same friend's house (I later found out that this friend had told him that I was attracted to him.) We've been together for about 1.5 years now.
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  #328  
Old 11-08-2012, 03:16 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Met my partner in high school, reconnected at our 20th reunion, although we were both married, our friendship grew, our marriages ended, and our relationship began.

His OSO went to HS with us too, but she'd moved away sophomore year and we all reconnected on Facebook, basically a little after the 20-year mark.

If we're bringing up exes, I met mine in college. Stay in school, kids!
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  #329  
Old 11-08-2012, 07:15 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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All online.

I met Fly in an internet chatroom (not romance or sex related) on AOL.

I met Punk through OKCupid.

Fly found Moonlight on AFF because he wanted to experience a FMF threesome. He totally had to talk me into it - there was no pressure, but I was definitely reluctant because I'm not a big casual sex fan. I'm so glad I decided to go along with it!
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- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy, ultimately amicable breakup), and his 10-year-old son Kiddo
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  #330  
Old 11-10-2012, 01:21 PM
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Anek Anek is offline
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Both on OKC. I met my ex when sunbathing in the park.
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