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Old 11-08-2012, 04:09 AM
derobi74 derobi74 is offline
New Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: SC
Posts: 3
Default Curious...

I am a 38 yr old black female who has been curious about polyamorous relationships for a while. I finally decided to try and reach out to others living that lifestyle to see if I can get some feedback. I have to admit that I wasn't sure about the whole race thing but I finally realized that I cannot possibly be the only black woman curious about loving more than one man and all three having an honest relationship in that. Any advice or info sources you could recommend on this lifestyle would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
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Old 12-16-2012, 01:30 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915
Post Hi!

I am Ryland or simply Ry. I am married to Matt, and we are in a triad with Kensi. We reside in London.

My husband and I met in '99 at a wedding. We became a couple the following year. I met Kensi a few months before my husband and I became official. The attraction was there almost immediately. Since June 2000, we have been a happy couple. My husband and I tied the knot in 2002, and Ken was my maid of honour.

From an early age, I knew monogamy just was not for me. My parents have been married almost 40 years. The same with my in-laws and maternal and paternal grandparents. I was surrounded by monogamy. I knew it just was not for me. I had only dated females prior to meeting my husband. Lesbian never fit because I was attracted to him when I met him. I identify as pansexual because I see the two loves of my life for more than what their sex is.

I am a fan of polyamory because I am getting everything I need, and I do not have to lie or cheat. From day one, our relationship was a hybrid open marriage, as I was the only one with an additional partner. My husband elected not to have anyone, and I respected his wishes. He became the best of friends with her, and there was an unrivaled level of respect and trust. To those considering polyamory, it's not all about sex. That is just one part. We have levels of total trust and honesty. We have the same values that monogamous relationships have. I still trust them both to never hurt me. I still trust them to never lie to me. I still trust them to always be honest and upfront. I still expect loyalty. I know they expect the same from me.

Up until the summer of this year, the two relationships were entirely separate. He had no input on my relationship with Kensi, and she had no input on my marriage to him. We recently became a triad. A few months back, we decided to integrate the two relationships in the bedroom. It was what I would call a partial threesome. Ken has always described herself as a lesbian. She had never been with a man and during the integration, that never changed.

My girlfriend decided she wanted to test the waters with a man, and since she trusted my hubby, it seemed like an ideal fit. As of this past week, they are now in a relationship, which is how we became a triad. Most people wonder about jealousy issues. For us, they do not exist at all. I have never been the jealous type or anything like that. I was the one secretly rooting for this and waiting for it to happen. We make sure we spend enough time together--individually and jointly, so that no one feels left out. It works like a fine tuned machine.

Our situation works for all parties and benefits our children. Our children know our girlfriend as mum #2. Our children have three parents who love them and only want the best for them. If ever we feel that they are being hurt by our actions, we will cross that bridge.
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Old 12-27-2012, 01:25 AM
nigles nigles is offline
New Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: I love on an acreage just outside of Edmonton AB, Canada
Posts: 2
Default newbie

Hey there my name is Nigel, my wife C and I are just begining our poly journey. We have been married for almost 8 years now and have just started looking to open our relationship up, so far no serious issues thankfully. but that being said we are having a hell of a time finding other poly people. so if there is anyone who has info on where to find poly people in the edmonton area please message me. thanks in advance. i am sure i will edit this with more info in the future.
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:54 AM
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soleilselene soleilselene is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 24

I'm a 29 year old, straight, married, female.

Just started having a relationship with my "lover" about 2 weeks ago. Have had permission from my husband since July 2012. The reason for all this is that my husband will NOT have sex with me.

My husband's rules were: it can't be someone he knows, always use protect and DON'T tell him about it, act as if nothing is happening.

I had never had casual sex before, and had only had 3 sex partners. This was very difficult for me to do, but I cannot live without sex.

I'm working on my neediness and hoping this all turns out ok.
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Old 01-22-2013, 04:36 AM
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vmsmith vmsmith is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 12
Default newb

Hi, all. I'm a 38 year old male married for 19 years and moving into an open marriage.

My wife and I had been experimenting with swinging for a couple of years but she just wasn't into it. As we've learned more and shed many of our traditional assumptions, the possibility of a poly/mono open marriage seemed more appropriate. She's been very supportive and hasn't ruled out the possibility of opening up herself someday, but for now she wants me to explore and be happy.

I am mostly interested in women, but am also bi-curious. I'm here to learn about navigating new relationships, defining appropriate boundaries, and helping my wife cope with any jealousy that may come up.
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Old 01-22-2013, 11:58 PM
Blopez5293 Blopez5293 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Cortez, CO
Posts: 40
Default Hello Out There From Colorado!

Hi. My name is B and my hubby is N and we are just starting out on this journey of ours. We have been married for coming up on 7 years and have 4 kiddos. We tried having a purely open marriage for a few years at the beginning but ultimately decided that wasn't the road for us. Then we started to try to put together something with a longtime friend of ours. Needless to say it didn't work out the way we wanted. Now we just want to see where this goes and really learn what the poly life has to offer us as we start to search again. That's about it for now. Looking forward to interacting with all of you.

Last edited by Blopez5293; 01-23-2013 at 04:49 AM.
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Old 01-24-2013, 05:46 PM
kimthegr8 kimthegr8 is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Oxford, United Kingdom
Posts: 1
Default Personal Summary

My name is Kim and I am a transplanted American that lives in Oxford in the United Kingdom.

I am an avid foodie, knitter and enjoy all things outdoors. I love to hike, used to but not much anymore bike, take in a good sunset or sunrise. I also love to cook, travel, and sing (I'm total rubbish).

I am a bi female with a preference for men, although I have had several very satisfying relationships with women. My partner and I have decided to open up our relationship after a period of swinging, as we found that with swinging the encounters were semi-random and not that full filling.

As neither of us are really "out" I have been looking for a group of intelligent people to have as a sounding board and support and this looks to be the best.

Cheers all!
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Old 02-03-2013, 02:58 AM
mrandmrsright mrandmrsright is offline
New Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 4
Default Opening Our Eyes

Hi all!

We're Leo and Shelly. We met in college and got married after dating nearly three years. I guess we both had a healthy apprehension about being tied down unless we knew the other one was really worth it. Over 6 years of marriage later and we're still together.

Shelly works in childcare and I work for a government contractor. We've moved around quite a bit mainly due to my job, but she's been an amazing sport along the way and we've seen some memorable places. While in Europe, Shelly started to develop different feelings for certain women close in her life. After much soul searching and research on the subject she came to the realization she could be bisexual. A late night escapade with another woman while we were on vacation last summer fully answered that question.

So, we began looking into the idea of polyamory and how it might be the right life choice for us. A few months later and a hopefully final move to sunny Las Vegas and I write to you now. We have since gotten in contact with a beautiful woman who shares the same interest in a triad as we do. We're taking day by day right now, but hope to have updates in other parts of the forum. With any luck we'll learn a great deal from everyone here and maybe help others explore this.
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Old 02-05-2013, 06:49 AM
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becsjunk999 becsjunk999 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: suburb in Solano county (sorry small town)
Posts: 3
Default northern California couple here

F/f married couple here. We are looking to build a relationship with a man. We have several threesomes, but are really looking for a more lasting relationship where both of us are happy and feel included. we are both I feel good looking in different ways. Living in a small town in Solano county California.
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Old 02-08-2013, 12:45 PM
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iluvawhooty810 iluvawhooty810 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 14

Hello! My names Joshua
I am single, new to the site an since I realized I wanted to have what I know now as a poly relationship, I've had issues finding like minded people and hope to find a woman here, or a stepping stone in finding a woman who shares interests and go from there.
I am straight, open to either female or male to join us. I live in a small town in Michigan but believe distance can be a formality as love knows not what distance is. And. I believe anything can happen.
New to the site, and relieved that I found it. Realizing I'm not weird, but just different. After researching poly life, and finding comfort here.
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