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Old 11-07-2012, 07:56 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,397

Since ex-husbands have been mentioned, I met mine on a political forum. The relationship wasn't polyamorous at first though.

I met my boyfriend (currently my only partner) on a chatroom for the gaming company where he worked. I knew I was polyamorous by then, he mentioned that he was, and we started talking a lot although I never expected it to move past a friendship.
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Old 11-07-2012, 08:17 PM
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jones jones is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: stoke
Posts: 125

I met my primary partner ten years ago at sixth form, he was clumsy qeek who swept me off my feet and he has been my rock ever since

I met A in july of a swinger's site and we have been dating ever since.
in a relationship with A, open to women only.
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Old 11-07-2012, 08:44 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,505

Met dh at a school event when I was 13.
Met bf at work when I was 18.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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Old 11-07-2012, 09:06 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 419

met my husband almost 20 years ago at the birthday party of a mutual friend.

met both my current loves on online poly dating sites.
early forties, straight.
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Old 11-07-2012, 10:31 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 824

I met my ex-husband at a dance club - but for people met while already poly? Both my husband and boyfriend through OKcupid. OKC also has led to a couple dates here or there with nice people. For in person, at poly friendly parties I did meet one girl I had a couple dates with, and some decent people at a weekly poly friendly bowling.

I've only felt some sort of instant chemistry 3 times in the last 8 years though - one was the above mentioned woman, the other two were in everday situation where I wouldn't have known how to turn the interaction into flirting even if it didn't seem kind of inappropriate, so I am guessing I'm stuck with OKC. I figure since neither my husband or boyfriend were instant connections I don't have anything to lose by going that route Either that or become an extroverted social fiend, which seems less likely...
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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Old 11-08-2012, 01:29 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is online now
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,359

I met MrS at a party while he was home on spring break my senior year of high school - waited 4 months to seduce him and then took another 6 months to admit that we were in a "relationship".

Met Dude at his grandmother's house when MrS took me to meet his snake (which he needed a home for). 4 months later I "met" him again - in my basement TV room - and "sparks" happened.

VV was MrS's college friend, MsJ married our friend.

I hate dating and doubt I would ever meet anyone that wasn't already a friend or a friend-of-a-friend.


PS. for the record - Dude says he has met every girlfriend he has ever had in someone's living room...
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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Old 11-08-2012, 02:02 AM
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Bluecircle Bluecircle is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 5

Thank you, JaneQ! Note to self "visit more living rooms".
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Old 11-08-2012, 02:16 AM
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Alleycat Alleycat is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 78

Met the Wife thru a mutual friend one summer evening many years ago. We lived very close to each other in the neighbourhood, and apparently I had caught her eye weeks ago in passing on a bus. (Although at the time I hadn't noticed her . . .. yet)

Met the girlfriend outside a bar I frequent, she had just moved into the area at the time, She had actually stopped there to borrow a lighter and find something to do that evening, ended up having a few beers with me and a couple of my friends that evening.

Previous partners and flings I've met at work, in bars, at concerts and shows, in line for coffee in the morning . . . . . . . pretty much anywhere.
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Old 11-08-2012, 02:46 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,647

This is an excellent thread because so many people come on here asking "how do you meet other poly people?" Although I tend to look down my nose at people who are frantically searching for partners, i think they deserve a better answer than "try OKCupid and look for poly groups and meet-ups in your area". Yet, at the same time, telling them "just go about your life and do stuff that interests YOU and you will find partners, but you won't find anyone if you're TRYING too hard", while appealing to those of us for whom that has been the case, is like trying to describe some activity, such as skydiving, that can only be appreciated by experience (I have never gone sky-diving). People are also often told to look for poly people at Ren Faires and the SCA. That always gets a laugh out of me because how desperate do you have to be to take up a hobby or activity you'd hitherto had no interest in JUST BECAUSE there might be poly people there. I mean, people have ulterior motives in all sectors and walks of life, but I still find it creepy that the relationship-needy individual is just hanging around to scope people out, like a guy who signs up for a sewing circle JUST to be around females.

Anyway, I'm going off. The point of this post was to express appreciation for all these real-life examples being collected in one place.
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Old 11-08-2012, 03:01 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,010

Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
I mean, people have ulterior motives in all sectors and walks of life, but I still find it creepy that the relationship-needy individual is just hanging around to scope people out, like a guy who signs up for a sewing circle JUST to be around females.
Or a cooking class.

You just reminded me... back in the early '90s when a friend of mine and I decided we wanted to find more sensitive men to date, so we attended a lecture by Sam Keen. He had just written Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man. My friend and I kept joking we were on a manhunt. Oh, boy, we decided never to do that again., although I did get a date from someone I met there who took me to a Bruce Springsteen concert, but that bored me to tears.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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