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Old 11-06-2012, 05:04 AM
Sannafrid's Avatar
Sannafrid Sannafrid is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 13
Exclamation He wants to introduce me to his girlfriend! Help!

Hello everyone. I should begin by saying that I recently moved away from the man who has been my best friend and primary lover for the past year. He and I are still seriously involved, we're doing very well, and we seem to have our long-distance relationship figured out. He and I are both very sexual people, and we've always had an agreement that it's not a problem if one of us has sex with someone else. We communicate with each other clearly about who we're having sex with, and my current situation in my new town is not breaking any rules my primary and I have. So there's the background story.

For the past month, I have been going on dates/having sex with one of the friends I've made in my new city. He is in an open relationship with another woman. He has told me that she struggles with jealousy, and even confided to me that he suspects she isn't as comfortable with him sleeping with other women as she says she is. She has set restrictions on when and how often he can see me and what we are allowed to do when he's with me, which I think is fair. After all, he is *her* significant other first and foremost.

This past weekend, she told him that he is not allowed to see me again until she meets me. He says that she wants to be sure she can trust me. I am interested in meeting her; she has a doctorate in the field I'm going into. However, I am also very intimidated. I am several years younger than both of them, and I feel that effects the power dynamics of the situation. I am also afraid that she will really hate me after she sizes me up, if she doesn't hate me already.

Has anyone ever been in an analogous situation? Does anyone have any advice on what to do or how to handle meeting your secondary lover's primary? I don't want to cause problems in his relationship. I am trying to decide if I want to go through with meeting her or if I should just bow out, let it be, find someone else, etc.
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