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Old 10-22-2012, 01:32 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
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What about pets? I could go a long time without people, but without cats, I start to feel like.... you know, I really don't know what it's like to be without cats. They are part of my comfort zone (see other thread about that).

ETA: actually i remember a time when i was without cats for about a month and it was definitely not an experience i want to repeat.
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Old 10-22-2012, 05:41 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by NovemberRain View Post
I recommend massage school. It's a completely respectable profession. The hardest part of it for me, was the ending of it. I was going to school every day and getting touched by lots of people. It was horrible withdrawals when it stopped. You could then become a teacher of massage, thus continuing the cycle. I was unable to continue because my body fell apart whilst I was in school (it wasn't just that, it was a perfect storm of awfulness that's not relevant to this story).
Another option would be to volunteer at nursing homes. Old people usually get so lonely, it would be really nice for them just to have someone sit there and hold their hand.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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Old 10-31-2012, 08:22 PM
Halcyon Halcyon is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Also, you could seek out friends with kids in the poly world too.
As I said, especially YOUNG 0-4 kids and maybe offer to babysit occasionally (aren't we all hard pressed to find GOOD, FUN, LOVING caregivers for our kids so we can get some extra time with our multiple partners?)
Or even an activity, if there is a group discussion and you aren't necessarily interested in the topic that will be going on, maybe offer that you would be willing to watch kids in another room, so polys who did want to participate-but wouldn't be able to because of young kid-could?
I'm working on that now, just making friends in the poly community and seeing who is out there.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I apologize if my comment came across as hurtful in any way.
It didn't at all

But a lot of dysfunctions that people have as adults stem from things that happened, or didn't happen, as children.
I agree, absolutely, but I cant think of anything in my own life that might trigger this sort of thinking.

I recommend you see a psychologist about this. Not just a therapist or counsellor, but a registered clinical psychologist. You say you've looked for scientific explanations, but your description hints that it's more of a psychological issue than a neurochemical issue.
I am considering it but as I said I have some reservations about going to see a therapist because of the potential of it getting around to my work environment in which case it may have seriously negative effects. I work with at-risk and drug addicted teens, mental health issues among staff are taken very seriously.

Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
What about pets? I could go a long time without people, but without cats, I start to feel like.... you know, I really don't know what it's like to be without cats. They are part of my comfort zone (see other thread about that).

ETA: actually i remember a time when i was without cats for about a month and it was definitely not an experience i want to repeat.
I used to have two cats but I had to move to a new place and couldnt take them with me I love cats and I'd love to have one now but its a little beyond my financial ability right now.
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Old 11-01-2012, 01:52 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Years ago, I was a bodyworker. During my training, we watched a short documentary film about humans' need for touch. One part I recall very well involved a study conducted at the public library in NYC. They had instructed the people at the book checkout desk, for a certain period of time, to very casually and briefly touch half of the library users who were checking out books - very quick contact with their hand or arm as they checked out or wished them a good day, and to avoid any touch at all with the other half of the folks coming out. There was someone stationed nearby to notate who had been touched and who hadn't. Others were stationed outside the library posing as survey takers. All they asked the people coming out was what their opinion of the library was. Were they happy with it, satisfied, dissatisfied, etc.

Right down the line, every single person who had been touched LOVED the library and raved about it. Every person who had not been touched had reactions that were either negative or neutral. I always thought that was interesting. People need to be touched. I respond very strongly to touch, and it is one of my highest ranking "love languages." I don't go through what you go through, but I can understand it. When I was practicing bodywork, I could connect very deeply with my clients and often had images come to me that, if I asked that person about them, were relevant to their lives. Silly things like the color of someone's kitchen, would pop into my mind's eye while massaging them. It was like being clairvoyant through touch.

Anyway, I think you've been given some good advice - I especially like the idea of volunteering to work with elderly people. You could volunteer at an animal shelter too. I hate the whole Cuddle Party money-making machine, but I bet Cuddle Parties would be good for you -- also Contact Improvisation or Dances of Universal Peace. I am also wondering if just working with your hands in some way, like making pottery would satisfy something in you as well.

If you are looking seriously at anti-depressants, check out natural sources like 5-HTP taken with L-Tyrosine.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Old 11-01-2012, 09:10 PM
InquiringOne InquiringOne is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 20

This has been a fascinating thread for me to read, both from the OP's standpoint and from the advice given. I don't think I'm quite as far along the spectrum as Halcyon on how much it affects me physically, but I literally just wrote an email today telling someone how much i can't stand going two weeks without touch. I've been told about the five languages before and knew immediately I would be a touch but now I will find the test and take it.

It does not cause me pain, but there is definitely an element of depression that seeps in for me after a couple weeks. It's more just being unsettled, distracted, and frustrated up until that point, but by two weeks it really is a matter of being truly down. I also realized that with my kids getting older I'm not receiving as much touch as I used to from them compared to a few years ago so that would help explain while I feel that way more often now than before. I hug them every day, but not nearly the amount of long snuggles that there used to be.

so thanks for helping me see this a little more clearly. i do hope you find something that will help alleviate the manifestations for you since they seem rather severe. Best of luck.
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