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  #21  
Old 10-20-2012, 04:48 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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If she needs to cry -- let her.

If you don't know what else to do? Bring her kleenex and hold her hand.

Hang in there. It is going to be a long journey.

Oh, thought of something -- if the kid has to do a lot of waiting in hospital -- maybe Wreck This Journal to pass the time? That's got some teen appeal.

GG.
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  #22  
Old 10-22-2012, 05:58 PM
wokeupconfused wokeupconfused is offline
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Thanks for the link for the journal...

I guess, somehow I have truly made the gods mad at me...

Had to have my truck towed to a shop (it flat quit on me)taking R to her classes so she did not have to walk in the cold rain....

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  #23  
Old 10-31-2012, 04:43 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Bummer about the truck! Hope things are ok with it now.

Just wanted to let you know someone's still checking in...

GG
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  #24  
Old 10-31-2012, 05:11 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Hang in there.
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"Love As Thou Wilt"
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  #25  
Old 11-01-2012, 05:05 PM
InquiringOne InquiringOne is offline
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WokeUp,
Hope things are going as well as can be expected under the circumstances. My parents had to go from Michigan to Minnesota for my sister's treatments. Usually one parent had to stay home and work while the other stayed for the week with her. So the family was literally torn apart physically by the disease much of the time, but they would take turns and make do. Somehow you learn to get through it. I was already at college when it happened and they did not want me to come home and stop my life. The same with my brother, so they took on the burden with the help of their extended family.

When a child has cancer you think that the worst thing possible has happened to them and to you. But I always remember this story my parents told me about my sister being in the hospital. A boy about 10 or 11 was on the same hospital floor with her. He had a rare disease where his bones at the elbows and knees just kept growing so that eventually he would just keep having to have surgery to cut them down because they would have grown through his skin. Horrible enough, right? But the sad thing was he had absolutely no one there to help him through the situation. A social worker would check in on him from time-to-time, and the nurses gave him extra attention, but no parents were ever around. According to him his mother was a recovering addict, and his father was in jail for abusing him.

So the point is that people go through some amazingly horrific things, and they even have to do it alone. Your providing support for him and his mother will make WORLDS of difference to them. Your job couldn't be more important, and it doesn't matter how well you think you are doing it. Just by attempting to be there you are giving something that other people long for desperately. That is a success in itself and you can be sure that they will appreciate every moment of your time and every bit of your love in the future. You are doing great.

IO
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  #26  
Old 11-17-2012, 03:45 AM
wokeupconfused wokeupconfused is offline
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I have been out of touch for awhile...

Kid has had his 1st 2 Chemo treatments... he is still a royal PIA in regards to anything resembling following the rules.

R has to me almost given up... she is taking to drinking heavier and heavier.. bottle of wine a night etc...

I am holding everything inside.. feeling like I am going to explode. She sits there, ignoring the fact that things need to be done... I can not do everything, nor would I, if I could. She will leave the dishes sit until there is nothing else to eat on, or cook with, then throw a tantrum because it is such a mess to clean up..... I do almost ALL of the cooking, she will not even pick up the house. I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo frustrated.. Think my blood pressue is going up and up and up.... sigh....
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  #27  
Old 11-17-2012, 08:49 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Sounds like depression/grief counseling could be needed for her. Maybe even for you. Handling all this by yourself is not good for your health just as her going "numb" is not good for her.

Can you ask her to make an appointment? Or ask if she'd be willing for you to make it for her? Or shoot -- make one for you! Or a couples thing. Try to reach out to her.

Hang in there. I was thinking of you today and wondered if you'd update.

Galagirl
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  #28  
Old 11-18-2012, 04:47 AM
wokeupconfused wokeupconfused is offline
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Thank you for your thoughts.

She does not believe in counselors.. for her. I am dealing the best I can.. Not able to afford a counselor right now.

Feel I am banging my head on the concrete steps outside somedays...

We talked today.. Going to talk again tomorrow, I hope. She really hates talking about stuff.

3 more months of treatment for the kid.. This HAS TO GET BETTER.. right????
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  #29  
Old 11-18-2012, 05:54 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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How about a volunteer at a college campus? A minister? "Counselor" people are not the only "listener" people out there in the world. Some of them are also free.
Check the hospital. Is there a support group?

You guys are not the first in these shoes!

hugs
GG
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  #30  
Old 03-07-2013, 06:22 AM
wokeupconfused wokeupconfused is offline
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Update time....

Kid has beat cancer. All scans are clear!

However, he became such a problem child that R booted his ass out, made him go live with his dad. Kid is now punishing her for it, but R seems to be dealing ok.

She is finally coming back to her old self, stress levels are seriously reducing themselves by the hour it seems.. We had a couple of very long talks, that went very well... it is soooooooooooooooooooooo nice to have my best friend and lover back and talking to me...

Now, we are getting back to our old selves, and, she told me to go find a girlfriend... lol

so, I am back to say Thank You to everyone who talked to me about this, sent private messages, and was generally supportive.
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