A TENDER MOMENT
In thinking about values, here's another one. In a partner, I value them looking out for me. I want to help look out for them. It's the exchange of support/nurture thing.
DH guards me on stairs automatically. Either going up or going down because in our life together? I've fallen down stairs and hurt myself in both apartments. We bought a flat house. There's no home stairs any more but he still guards me. He's decided I'm terrible at stairs so he walks behind me going up to push gently on my back to stop me from tipping over backward. He walks ahead of my going down so if I need a shoulder to lean on it is there already.
He opens and shuts doors in gentlemanly fashion. He carries things like the shopping. He seats me at tables. It's just how he is. That's his style. I appreciate it. He's not particularly formal. He's not a gentleman. He's a gentle man. I like that.
He rarely gets all stern with me but he has. Once time he grabbed my shirt shove me aside behind him and ordered me to stand still and I got annoyed and he paid me no mind and I had to peer out around him to see what the hell got him all cranked up.
"I don't want you stepping out just yet. There's a weird guy out there right by the exit and until he goes away we're not going out there. Other people are avoiding him too."
And it was true. Some strange man was carrying on in the street and there were other restaurant patrons lingering in their departure waiting for him to drift off. Who knows if the dude was drunk or what? But nobody needs to bump into problems. I hadn't even noticed the guy.
The other morning I woke up all hot. We've been sick. I flung the covers off and was debating getting up to take meds and go back to sleep or just stay up for the day even though it was two hours before the alarm.
Suddenly I felt the heavy hand of Frankenstein in the gloom. It was DH in his sleep reaching out to me and patting my body clumsily. Clonk. Clonk. Then he was patting around the bed. I didn't know what he was doing and watched in fascination. His body was curled up facing away from me in his fav way to sleep. He was just flinging his arm backwards toward me rooting around in the dark.
He flapped his one arm around a bit and found the blanket. He grunted when he found it. Then he threw it back over me and spent some time arm flapping about to get it back on me as full coverage as possible in such an awkward way. He said "Mmm" when it seemed like he was satisfied with the blanket arrangement.
Then I got two pat-pats on my stomach in a vaguely reassuring way and I heard him go "Mwah!" like he was blowing me a kiss. Next he drew his arm back to himself and rolled up back up into side sleeping ball facing away from me. Shortly the snoring started again.
Even in his sleep the man is looking out for me. Oddly touching.
Later I asked him if he remembered doing all that and he said no.
But he grinned and offered this -- "All I know is that you are a blankie pig and if I want blanket myself I have to defend or you will come snatch mine."
He's so weird. Amusing.
Last edited by GalaGirl; 10-27-2012 at 04:38 AM.
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