Hi, it's Natalia, creator of Showtime's "Polyamory: Married & Dating"

[directornatalia]

Hello community,

This is Natalia, creator/director of Showtime's Polyamory: Married & Dating. Thank you all for your amazing support with the show, it means the world to me.

I'm reaching out in hopes of speaking with poly families interested in possibly sharing their story with me. I'm looking for polyamorous families that are charismatic, healthy, active; can be unmarried but practicing poly (don't all have to live together); bisexuality is welcome in both male and female partners; and are open to sharing all aspects of their love lives. Between the ages of 25-50 would be ideal.

As I think you have seen, I am a person of integrity and my intent is to portray polyamourists as loving, mature adults who are capable of carrying on multiple loving relationships in a world that has programmed us for monogamy. I've had so many people reach out to me, mono people struggling in their relationships telling me the show changed their lives for the better. Despite what Dr. Drew said, I believe 100% that Polyamory is a sustainable way of living — and I would like to possibly continue the pro-Polyamory conversation in the mainstream.

If you are interested in speaking with me, I would love to hear from you, email me at natstertv@yahoo.com I think it would help if you've seen the series to get a sense of what is expected. Also, if possible, i would greatly appreciate a picture along with your email so I can keep track of who's who...Thanks again, much love to everyone, I look forward to speaking with some of you! xo

[polymale]

We love your series! Thanks for what you are doing!!!

It is truly inspiring.

One thing we noticed though... You don't seem to address ordinary living together issues much... things like.... from the mundane issues of squeezing the toothpaste from the wrong end... to finances... just all the ordinary things that go with any people living together.

Of course, the unique polyamory issues of jealousy and honesty are central to this lifestyle. We understand that. But it doesn't seem like "reality" if ordinary living together issues aren't addressed.... like listening to music too loud... walking around in your underwear.... house chores... money, money, money.... etc.

[Stevenjaguar]

You're looking for people to make another production with. My concern is that the people who may help you do it don't fully realize the consequences of having their names and faces on televisions around the world. What happens when their names are googled can cause them to lose jobs, not get hired, not get security clearances (in our move toward a national security state) and otherwise suffer socially and financially.

While some are independent, most are dependent for their livelihoods on people who must keep up appearances of conformity to ensure their own careers. Other friends and relatives are so conventional, or believe they must appear to be, will shun and isolate them. I was briefly involved in media production and I know that once the show is "in the can" there is little if any regard to what happens to the actors afterward. Sad, but that's the way it is.

[Wizzard]

I have not seen the show, so cannot comment on that. The only thing I have to say is: How do we know you're actually involved with the show? The only piece of information you've given is a free yahoo.com address, which, frankly, I can get a fairly official sounding email at... right now. poly.amoury@yahoo.com

Not to sound paranoid, but... I guess I'm paranoid.

[Helo]

As much as I enjoyed the first season, I'm...a little hesitant about the idea of there being another season.

The show just seemed to have a disproportionate focus on the sexual aspect of polyamory. Even the intro is hypersexual and I'm worried that people who aren't poly will draw the wrong conclusions from seeing the show.

Those of us here understand what we're seeing and get that polyamory is much more than a constant sex-fest. Mono people seeing the show I'm worried will take the wrong message away.

The concept of loving more than one person in a romantic way is such an alien concept for most people.

Dont get me wrong, I'm extremely excited to see polyamory in the national view but again I'm a little worried that the core message of the show is really only going to be heard by people who already speak the language. Preaching to the choir so to speak.

[1of4]

My husband and I are part of a quad with another married couple. We avoid labels and haven't necessarily named what we have poly, but that is clearly what it is. We've yet to meet (except online) any other poly people and we're still kind of figuring things out as we go along.

For professional reasons, we could never even consider going on a show like yours, but appreciate the people who agree to.

We loved your show. The sex scenes didn't bother us like some have expressed, but they also aren't why we watched it. We watched it for the group dynamics and just to learn from observing how the groups structured their relationships, how they communicated, how they resolved conflict, etc.

We'd love to see more about daily life and group dynamics in future seasons. We'd also like to see groups that don't live together. We spend weekends with our friends, them staying with us or us with them, but we don't live together. I'm just guessing, but there are probably a lot more groups that don't live together than that do, so more of us could probably relate to that scenario.

Can understand why you included so many sex scenes...after all, group sex can be amazing, is the stuff of fantasies for many people, and sex sells. But I agree that isn't what poly is all about and don't want people to get the wrong idea, so hope there is less sex and more group dynamics in future seasons.

[ImaginaryIllusion]

Originally Posted by Wizzard

The only thing I have to say is: How do we know you're actually involved with the show?

Fair question. Natalie has been posting this elsewhere, and has been posted at Polyinthemedia and the CPAA. The address tracks. If in doubt, you could probably try her website at www.nataliagarcia.net

Originally Posted by Helo

Dont get me wrong, I'm extremely excited to see polyamory in the national view but again I'm a little worried that the core message of the show is really only going to be heard by people who already speak the language. Preaching to the choir so to speak.

Alan M just did a decent article about the show and some of the pro's and con's of it. I'm also not represented by the young pretty people boinking shown in the show, but the unfortunate truth is that to get the dialog open, a show needs to be done, and it needs high enough ratings to be renewed. And sex and drama will get those ratings.

I'd much rather see poly's on TV, even if they're not the sort that would date me, and have those conversations come up at work, than I would with the current conversations about Honey-BooBoo...

[Helo]

Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion

Alan M just did a decent article about the show and some of the pro's and con's of it. I'm also not represented by the young pretty people boinking shown in the show, but the unfortunate truth is that to get the dialog open, a show needs to be done, and it needs high enough ratings to be renewed. And sex and drama will get those ratings.

I'd much rather see poly's on TV, even if they're not the sort that would date me, and have those conversations come up at work, than I would with the current conversations about Honey-BooBoo...

Oh absolutely, I'm all in favor of there being a show about polyamory and I do feel like, as sex-focused as PMD is, its still a good snapshot of part of the community.

As I said, I'm just a little worried that people who dont "speak the language" per say arent getting the message that Natalie thinks they're getting. From some of the dialogue I've seen online and in person, there ARE a fair number of people who missed the point.

[Derbylicious]

When you say healthy and active I think what you mean is thin and attractive. Best just to spell it out like you mean it. I am healthy and active but my body isn't one that would be chosen to be on TV.

I'd like to see more of a balance in the next season. I'd like there to be a more family oriented tribe that's more representative of the way some of us live. Also seeing more V's or other combinations besided people who are all involved with each other would be nice.

[LovingRadiance]

Less sex, more acknowledgement and focus in polys who aren't having fgroup sex.

My mono friends and family were all given the impression poly is all about make up sex in groups.
As the hinge of a v, both partners being hetero males-totally not our reality.

Furthermore, my impression wasn't that there was healthy dialogue and communication-instead there was manipulative, selfish and controlling communication.