A lost carebear in need of a friend.
Hello everyone. I am a 45 yr old man who has been celebate for more than 10 yrs because I have never felt completely fullfilled by any relationship. I have ptsd and it manifests as a wall between me and ppl I dont know. I can not touch or be touched by sumone I do not know. I dont mean name, phone number, addy, but the most important thing,, who you are. I also am a gigantic carebear. I dearly love to help, cook, cater and basicaly care for those that get inside my wall. I feel as though I have more care inside me than I can possibly give to one person. I'm not interested in having a relationship with sumone who goes off to have a seperate relationship with someone else. Truth told, I dont want to base a relationship on sex at all, but rather snuggling, caring and takeing care of others. I think I would prefer to live with everyone I care about, together, not seperate. I dont know if that is polyamory, but I saw the show on showtime and it really struck a cord with me. I want that. I want a loving, caring environment. I have soooo much love in me that I'm in torment every day. Am I wrong? Sex is ok, but I want love. I'm not looking for marriage either, well at least to start with.