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Old 10-24-2012, 04:12 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 398
Default Hierarchy and non-hierarchy in the same polyship.

Do any of you have this in your polyships? I've realized I sometimes have difficulties with making sure my own mental and emotional well being as well as my partners are all taken care of due to these things.

Myself: I do not really see myself as having any hierarchy in my relationships. My relationship with Woodsmith is as important and deserving of attention/time/love/etc as my relationship with Primal, my relationship with Lamian/Darkeyes, and my metamour-ship with Peaseblossum.

Primal from what I can see is basically the same sort of set up as me (but I'm willing to put myself to the side even if I need something for Peaseblossum because she is only able to see him once a week during the week or once during the weekend so when they have that time I make sure they get that time).

Lamian views Primal and Darkeyes as co-primaries and everyone else lies below.

Darkeyes, Peaseblossum, and Woodsmith all view their individual partners as primaries because well that's currently their only partners.

It's weird and difficult at times helping people who use the primary/secondary system feel important while those of us who don't make sure that we don't put any of our other relationships on hold because of the other people.

So if anyone has ever dealt with this, how did you work on making things work out well?
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