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Old 10-23-2012, 03:34 PM
beachbaby beachbaby is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 1
Default Wanting to Transition from Mono to Poly

I'm new to these forums and have little personal experience with Poly people. I'm here to gain knowledge, seek advice, and hopefully establish some friendships with individuals with whom I can relate.

My boyfriend and I have had a relationship spanning over ten years, although some of those early years were on/off. We have a typical monogamous relationship, live together, and are raising our child together. We love each other deeply, but have issues just like any other couple.

I know in my heart I m meant to practice Polyamory; I believe in the fundamentals, and I know my own capacity to love more than one person. The trouble is, I haven't "come out" to my spouse. My goal is to open up to him about my feelings on the matter, and ultimately achieve the freedom to be who I am. So far, I have only been observing his reaction to unconventional relationships (on TV, movies, etc.), and thinking about how I want to proceed.

He's made remarks in the past about how "people aren't meant to be monogamous; it goes against nature", and "You can have a sister wife, I'll even let you pick her". On the flip-side, he's made comments about how he wouldn't be able to stand me being intimate with another man because of his jealousy. My partner is an open-minded, accepting, and forward-thinking person when it comes to the concept of Poly. I worry about him turning into a closed-minded, jealous and unreasonable version of himself when faced with it hitting close to home. I'm scared to bring up my true desires at this point and welcome advice from those who have been there.

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advice needed, coming out poly

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