Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 10-22-2012, 12:28 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,643
Default Comfort Zone

A common motif on this forum and others like involves people going out of, wanting their partner to go out of, or people's partners wanting them to go out of their comfort zones. I read a lot about this sort of thing everywhere. I have had some personal experience with both sides of the comfort zone. What I have found works for me is... wait for it...


I love my imagination. However, I am the type of personality that, once I find something I like a lot - be it a type of food, a place to go camping, or a certain sexual act or position, etc. - I like to go back to that thing over and over. This is not to say I don't like to try new things, either. But I like to try new things on MY terms, at MY pace, or as close to ideal circumstances as possible. I realize one does not always have as much choice about that as one would like, but I read and hear a lot about people doing it just for the hell of it - or for "personal growth". People also do it FOR their partner(s), sometimes convincing themselves that it's for some other reason, while hating every second of it.

Going out of the comfort zone is not necessary for personal growth, nor does staying in the comfort zone mean that one is closed off to new experiences. I think Western society holds ambition in regard as something desirable, and with ambition comes competition because people are always being compared to others as they aspire to "get ahead". I am not a competitive or ambitious personality by nature, although for the early part of my life I was told I was because I got all A's in school. I was going to get a good job and make a lot of money, they said. However, continually being forced into social and academic situations that were not my speed, esthetically, was something that i decided i wasn't going to do to myself if i had the choice.

So, this isn't really all about me. I have been thinking these thoughts regarding a number of Relationship threads where people are going out of their comfort zone and not liking it, or trying to avoid doing so. Instead of hijacking one of those threads, I figured I could start this one and link to it if I ever need to reference this sentiment elsewhere. If it generates its own discussion, that's grooovy too.

Last edited by BoringGuy; 10-22-2012 at 12:30 AM. Reason: typo
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 02:43 PM.