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Old 12-16-2009, 11:44 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Default Poly Standards, Theory, and Practice

It seems to me that there are not only different ways of having poly relationships, but also different standards for those relationships.

To me it is very important to be respectful, compassionate, and meet people where they are at as much as I can, yet push them a bit to see alternative ways of being. I find that manners go a long way. I find that expressing when I think someone has done a good job goes a long way to them feeling that they are on a positive track. I find that when I express what I feel either "good" feelings or "bad" also goes along way in helping others get to the bottom of their issues.

I have notice with others that facts, prescribed working examples to Poly and "keeping to the program" is far more important than feelings, good manners, and mutual respect and compassion.

I find this on here, and in the community I am in. I realize that this is the same in any relationship really. Poly, mono or any friendship dynamic also.

Anyone else find this? and how can we deal with these differences?

I'm struggling with what I need to say here....I think really its about a good balance between theory minded and emotionally minded and then perhaps how much of both, if that makes sense?

I have a friend that I once thought I could pursue as a relationship that was more than friendship. She has all the traits I like in a woman except she is very guarded with her emotions and never talks about poly dynamics and theory.

While I think that over talking about theory is not so helpful, and being overly emotional is also not helpful, SOME is and I got to the point where I was just not attracted any more. I needed a balance. I needed more and we stopped hanging out, it just drifted.
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Last edited by NeonKaos; 07-08-2011 at 12:13 PM. Reason: merge posts
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casual sex, philosophy, poly practice, poly standards, sex

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