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Old 06-05-2009, 01:38 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723
Default definition of Poly?

okay.... what is everyones take on the definition of poly?

I have a husband and a boyfriend that I love each in their own way. I love them very much and want to spend the rest of my life loving them... I call this my poly relationship. I tell them everything that goes on for me with other people in my life except details about sex and details about other peoples personal lives as is fit.

I have another lover who identifies as poly and he has a live in girlfriend that also has other lovers. They share nothing about each others lives and they barely know who each other sleeps with. This I don't consider poly as they don't have love attachments the way I do to their lovers. I don't have a love attachment to him other than a friend type love. I consider him a friend that I am sexual with on occasion.

I have another lover who I see also who's wife had a boyfriend and he has a friend he sleeps with regularly and me and my husband that we have threesomes with from time to time... he considers himself poly, but again, there is friendship there not love in the same way as I love my men.

Lastly I have a female lover who is also a friend that also considers herself poly.... again I see it as a friendship and not one of my poly relationships.

I almost get offended that people who are friends consider themselves in a poly relatinship with me. It almost makes my wonderful relationships with my men seem smaller and have less meaning... they are by far my loves and so different from the others. any ideas on this?

one last thing? How come when I ask someone who is poly our for coffee they think I am asking them on a date? Can I not have poly friends that I am not dating? I go out with my lovers/friends often and don't consider it a date yet they do... why is everything a date? my female poly friend thinks we are dating because we hang out too, yet I thought we were friends.... I am so confused and frustrated! what the heck?! help.....? please?
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