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  #1  
Old 12-16-2009, 05:14 PM
rokku rokku is offline
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Ok I wasnt quite sure what to type in the search area to see if my questions was asked before. You know how in the beginning of a mono relationship you become closer over time while dating, things become more personal and intimate. Hugs become kisses and so on and so on. How does that work when theres 3 people in involved? How and when does it stop becoming friendship to relationship without sex being involved?
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Old 12-16-2009, 09:53 PM
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DrunkenPorcupine DrunkenPorcupine is offline
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You know how in the beginning of a mono relationship you become closer over time while dating, things become more personal and intimate. Hugs become kisses and so on and so on. How does that work when theres 3 people in involved?
It works the same way. Though, I'm an individualist. To me, there's no three party relationship, there's multiple individual relationships. Each person thinks and feels independently and has different boundaries that need to be respected by each person, regardless of how many people are in someone's circle of love.

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How and when does it stop becoming friendship to relationship without sex being involved?
This is something I've been... not "struggling" with, but pondering on. On the other hand, I don't think any classification exactly fits the intricacies that come about when two people relate and I personally feel no need to make the distinction between those I love just because I happen to have or not have sex with them.

Every relationship evolves, and I don't like barring that evolution by labeling.
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Old 12-16-2009, 10:40 PM
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crisare crisare is offline
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Originally Posted by DrunkenPorcupine View Post
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How and when does it stop becoming friendship to relationship without sex being involved?
This is something I've been... not "struggling" with, but pondering on. On the other hand, I don't think any classification exactly fits the intricacies that come about when two people relate
This is also a bit of a recent issue for me. My b/f and I broke up earlier this summer and just lately I've been ready to maybe start seeing someone else. But I'm finding it difficult. My relationship with my b/f developed over time - we were friends for many years and then segued into a closer relationship and finally became lovers. It wasn't something we necessarily sought from each other from the beginning. However, meeting people now - I've met up with a few men from a dating site - you know going into it that you're looking for a "relationship" - more than just and friendship and including sex at some point (but not right away). I'm still feeling a sense of forced artificiality to the encounters. And I'm finding a lot of guys who want to jump right into the "let's have sex" part ... and that's just not what I'm looking for.

I really enjoyed my last relationship - and I think I'm struggling with how to find that again. W/out, of course, being so silly as to compare current to past.

I dunno. That didn't really answer your question, but there you have my perspective for what it's worth.

I dunno.
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Old 12-17-2009, 07:01 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by rokku View Post
Ok I wasnt quite sure what to type in the search area to see if my questions was asked before. You know how in the beginning of a mono relationship you become closer over time while dating, things become more personal and intimate. Hugs become kisses and so on and so on. How does that work when theres 3 people in involved? How and when does it stop becoming friendship to relationship without sex being involved?
I'm not sure I understand the question... it sounds like you are wanting to force things or have a formula to make it happen or something...???

It just happens when the time is right with the right person, persons... just as any romantic relationship does...

Am I getting the question? Maybe you could ask it a different way? Or did I get it?
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  #5  
Old 12-17-2009, 04:40 PM
rokku rokku is offline
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This is the first time me and my boyfriend have met someone that we wanted to bring into our relationship. We both known him the same amount of time and planned on getting to know him even more before we asked him to join our relationship. From what I noticed from other couples it usually starts off as a sexual relationship then grows or ends quickly after that. I don't want it to start off sexual at all, even though I know it could. And I also noticed when it's one on one the relationship stops becoming equal.

Actually I just realized that this is something that I can't really plan out, and what ever happens just happens. I think I just wanted to control the situation so everything would work out the way I wanted. But I realize this isnt something that I can control.

I'll keep you guys updated on how things are going.
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