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  #21  
Old 10-17-2012, 06:49 PM
haruki haruki is offline
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Since this thread is already so off topic, I'm going to take this opportunity to post my favorite (or top of the google image search) pictures of unicorns!

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  #22  
Old 10-17-2012, 06:52 PM
haruki haruki is offline
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this one has a trippy background
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  #23  
Old 10-17-2012, 07:36 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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HAHAHAHA!!! Haruki, YOU ARE AWESOME! I LOVE IT!!

I tried to send you a PM, but either you've chosen not to receive them or they're blocked somehow, so I'll post it here:

In any community, unfortunately there's always going to be a few jerks. Sometimes I'll reply to one of them, but I have no delusions that it's ever going to change THEIR mind. Sometimes I personally feel the opposing view needs to be represented in a publicly viewable thread, but there's no reason on earth why YOU need to respond to someone you feel is being being a jerk or disrespecting you. You can use the "Ignore" feature, if you want, and just not see their posts, or choose to not reply to them as they're being spectacularly unhelpful and not discussing what you want to discuss.

Both of my partners have left this forum because they didn't care to deal with the jerks. I stayed because I have good interactions with enough people to make it worth dealing with the others. Either choice is valid, just make the one that works best for you. I hope you're able to find the answers you're looking for, here or elsewhere.

ETA: I think my favorite is the first one you posted- Superglue holds everything together!!
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  #24  
Old 10-17-2012, 08:18 PM
SkylerSquirrel SkylerSquirrel is offline
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I'm definitely on Team Haruki here. I knew what you meant from the start, and also YAY FOR PRETTY UNICORN PICS.

... In the other sense of the word, that would be questionable. haha.
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  #25  
Old 10-18-2012, 12:23 AM
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WaywardDruid WaywardDruid is offline
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Post Yep....



Just Me,
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  #26  
Old 10-18-2012, 01:38 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haruki View Post
That's the true definition of a unicorn... I don't know how YOU ALL came to understand that a unicorn is a gender-specific thing in an a-typical relationship structure.
Ah, christ, man. You enter a new community and stumble on the jargon and then bitch that a specialized term is bad because you don't understand it...really?

Quote:
Also, this is on topic because I say it is... which is the validation most of these posts have had; oh and hey! the mods were even nice enough to tag this as a discussion towards the definition of a unicorn! I sure hope I posted enough images to define fully what a unicorn is.
Well, I'm thinking you just engaged in a bit of trolling. That's not a good thing. I found it amusing, however, and an argument can be made for letting it slide.

See, just because you don't understand the jargon doesn't make it bad and doesn't mean you can pitch a tantrum about it with impunity.

Quote:
God, how much of an idiot was the OP, thinking that he might be a unicorn...
And you seem to be the only person who thought that. The rest of us don't expect new folk to understand all of the jargon immediately. I certainly didn't think you an idiot for not using the term correctly.
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  #27  
Old 10-18-2012, 01:50 AM
haruki haruki is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
HAHAHAHA!!! Haruki, YOU ARE AWESOME! I LOVE IT!!

I tried to send you a PM, but either you've chosen not to receive them or they're blocked somehow, so I'll post it here:

In any community, unfortunately there's always going to be a few jerks. Sometimes I'll reply to one of them, but I have no delusions that it's ever going to change THEIR mind. Sometimes I personally feel the opposing view needs to be represented in a publicly viewable thread, but there's no reason on earth why YOU need to respond to someone you feel is being being a jerk or disrespecting you. You can use the "Ignore" feature, if you want, and just not see their posts, or choose to not reply to them as they're being spectacularly unhelpful and not discussing what you want to discuss.

Both of my partners have left this forum because they didn't care to deal with the jerks. I stayed because I have good interactions with enough people to make it worth dealing with the others. Either choice is valid, just make the one that works best for you. I hope you're able to find the answers you're looking for, here or elsewhere.

ETA: I think my favorite is the first one you posted- Superglue holds everything together!!

I appreciate the advice and really do appreciate your original post. It really pointed out to me that I was definitely looking internally. That internal searching for "what I want," though has been a new trend. I had found (a while ago) myself in a constant state of allowing others to define me and define "our" relationship types. I think I got really overexcited at the fact that I finally found some conceptual relationship framework that innately excited me. I did jump the gun on the usage of the word, but it seemed a word that fit a type of experience that I- for the first time in my relationship life- knew I wanted. Which I still view as a success. Although now that I know one extreme, I do feel I can look for that middle ground of matching expectation with potential partners without allowing them to solely define me.

I got excited about this discovery and wanted to share and inquire about it... then my post kind of hit a brick wall with all those responses.

I think I was mostly hyper sensitive because this was my first post and the first 3 people or so (the subsequent ones really didn't bother as much) really seemed horribly abrasive and when I met them with an attempt at understanding, I was given a very similarly abrasive answer. Followed by more people saying the same shit even after I had addressed it.


Quote:
Ah, christ, man. You enter a new community and stumble on the jargon and then bitch that a specialized term is bad because you don't understand it...really?
No, I was upset that people focused on the term usage instead of legitimately attempting a conversation. And I did address the fact that I was aware I was not using the term in THE typical way; even apologized for using it. After I was corrected, I understood, however because I couldn't edit the post, and people kept bringing it up instead of attempting a conversation, it was a frustrating situation. And even though I've elaborated this feeling several times, few seem to get it... it's not about projection, try some empathisization.

Last edited by haruki; 10-18-2012 at 01:55 AM.
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  #28  
Old 10-18-2012, 04:31 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Cute pictures. Still a fantasy. Sorry your ego was bruised. I didn't think you looked like an idiot to begin with.
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  #29  
Old 10-18-2012, 05:17 AM
haruki haruki is offline
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Oh yes, if it were up to this community and my ego were involved, I'm sure it would not just be bruised, but bloodied and dragged through the steets only to have its shallow grave shat upon. (public shamings are fun, i know!) But you poking at it tickles. Lucky for me, every post I've made in this thread have been to express my knowledge of the misuse of the word, my desire to be able to edit the original post, and attempting to direct the thread back in the direction I had hoped it would go in when I started it, which is to discuss and share stories of that relationship dynamic. Maybe I use too long of sentences because very few actually understand that's what I've been saying all along. Never have I claimed I wanted the title or knew what it meant. So, as you- the moderator- have once again taken it off topic, do you have anything to share about this relationship dynamic?
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  #30  
Old 10-18-2012, 08:52 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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I'm just going to get this out of the way: There's no such thing as a "polyamory community." There are only individual polyamorous people bumbling around their business, just like everyone else. Some of us got our hands on smart phones, and all hell broke loose. It's okay. I came here with the same unrealistic expectation, and was briefly devastated just like you. But then I found other people here who are exactly what you and I were looking for. So it's all good.

This is just a forum on the internet. Every forum on the internet has its jerks with nothing better to do than nitpick and irritate people. I mean geeze, his tag is "Drink, Eat, Pee, Poop." How much maturity do you honestly expect? Despite self-proclamation, neither BoringGuy nor AutumnalTone is our Official Spokesperson. Their word is not law. While I agree that unicorn typically refers to hot bi babes being sought by a married couple, there's no denying the fact that many people have proclaimed themselves to be unicorns. Whether or not AT and BG are happy about it, English is ever-changing. Oxford writes its definitions based on common usage, it does not dictate common usage. When common usage changes, Oxford updates its definitions. As opposed to Franšais, which actually has a committee of people who decide what words mean and when those definitions can be changed.

Unless I missed an election, there's no Official Committee for the Proper Usage of Polyamorous Terms. Common usage is the best we have. So let's Google "unicorn hunter." First hit is Urban Dictionary. First line of the most popular definition contains a link to "unicorn." Let's click it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=unicorn
Colloquial; Synonym for hot bi babe or HBB, often derogatory, condescending, or ironic. A bisexual person, usually though not always female, who is willing to join an existing couple, often with the presumption that this person will date and become sexually involved with both members of that couple, and not demand anything or do anything which might cause problems or inconvenience to that couple.
Voted "up" by 65% of users. The definition states explicitly that Unicorns need not be female. Even assuming "though not always" is the entire reason the other 35% voted it down, most people are satisfied with this definition.

Quote:
Originally Posted by http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/synonym
one of two or more words or expressions of the same language that have the same or nearly the same meaning in some or all senses
Unicorn is a synonym for HBB. Not identical to or defined as. The masses have spoken. If you don't like the way they decided, start a letter writing campaign, or get your 283 closest friends to vote it down for a 50/50 split.
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Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 10-18-2012 at 09:33 AM.
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