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Old 10-15-2012, 01:05 PM
Sinensis Sinensis is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: North Carolina
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Hahahahahaha! I giggled a few times when reading that, Phy, especially the bit about you being the alpha. ^.^ Well, and dealing with your spleen, since spleen for me is just an internal organ, like a liver or a kidney--I know it means anger or bad moods or something like that for other cultures, though.

And thanks, that was fun to read.

I actually wasn't sad at all last night. Well, a little bored, maybe, but not thinking of her and her lover, and not feeling especially lonely.

Oddly enough, today I'm feeling a little cranky, and today's the day he's leaving; she's staying there for a few more days for the conference by herself. I started thinking about something that he said when he and I were emailing before the trip to help me be more comfortable and get on the same page. (The emails were for that purpose, not this next thing.) He was describing how he wanted to be involved in her life, underlining that he didn't want to/wouldn't take her away from me, and mentioned in passing "and maybe some lewd conversations or chats from time to time."

I know it's odd that them actually having sex isn't currently bothering me while the idea of the sexy chats is, and I know that that would be a logical extension of sometimes meeting up for sex, but there you go. I think it has to do with knowing what's going on. When she makes arrangements to go have sexy times with someone, I know it's going to happen, she checks in with me first to make sure it's okay, and I can't be constantly wondering "is it happening RIGHT NOW??"

Maybe this is another situation where the fear is worse than the thing itself, but that's the other tricky bit--since I generally won't know when it's happening, I can't test that out.

I mentioned the comment and that it had bothered me before she left, and she said that hadn't been very tactful of him, but there were more pressing issues at hand and we never got around to more conversation on it. When she gets back I'll bring it up. This might be one of the lines I draw for my own comfort, if she's okay with not having those (currently theoretical) chats. If she'd still like for them to happen, maybe I can ask for them to be planned, too, so I can know when they're happening.

Either way, it's not a huge emotional breakdown or anything, just a niggling little hotspot in my chest.
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