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Old 10-15-2012, 05:11 AM
smiler smiler is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 12
Default Open Discussion and Time Constraints - Balance?

Just curious to see if other people have had this issue.

How do you get the balance right between open, honest, transparent communication about issues and restricted time to spend together.

My BF and I are still working on establishing the right rhythm for us i.e. how often we manage see each other, sleep over rules, general relationship "stuff". So we generally have a lot to talk through. However, since we don't see each other for more than a few hours a week, neither of us wants to spend that time troubleshooting. And it's also awkward to communicate openly and honestly by e-mail/text/phone.

Has anyone had this problem before, or have any suggestions on how to approach it? I want him to spend happy times with me, not times sucked into analysis of the relationship. But avoiding issues won't work either. And I keep leaning to one extreme or the other i.e. we either spend hours sucked into meaningful discussion on feelings or we spend hours having an absolute blast and really living the moment.

Neither ends up feeling good because option one is exhausting emotionally and option two is short-lived happiness - quickly followed by anxiety.

Thanks for any tips.

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